Hey!
I’m new around here, and I’ve recently written my first ever piece of interactive fiction. I’d love some feedback on it so I can get an idea of what I’ve done right and what I need to improve.
I wrote this story for Ludum Dare using Twine. I’ve already had some really helpful feedback on the Ludum Dare website, but I’d also appreciate some criticism and feedback from people who are even more familiar with interactive fiction. Thanks 
Here’s my game: philome.la/_cilae/ghost-in-the-machine/play