Hiya.
So i made a game in the span of yesterday afternoon and I’m so proud of it but that’s not the point of this topic.
I wanna submit it to IFCOMP 2015 but that’s also not the point.
i want to be ready.
When/how do I put it on IFDB, and get it on parchment, and all of the other stuff i don’t know of yet?
Before you put it on IFDB, you’ll want to get it beta-tested, especially if you want it submitted for the IFComp. EDIT - Oh yeah, and what David said below.
You can ask for beta-testers in this forum.
Also, this link may help!
ifwiki.org/index.php/Beta-testing
Finally, Parchment is only a way for people to play your game online. And you’ll definitely probably most-likely might want to get it set up as well to give more people the chance to easily play your game. You upload your game somewhere and then you add the prefix…
…to the download url. For instance,
ifarchive.org/if-archive/gam … hotopia.z5
…becomes…
iplayif.com/?story=http://www.if … hotopia.z5.
As for where to upload the game, if you haven’t got any alternatives, you can submit to the archive. Personally, I’d advise holding off on that until it’s gone through SOME beta-testing. If you use a service like GoogleDrive or Dropbox you might be unable to Parchmentalise it, and maybe you’ll just have to accept that.
If you’re submitting it to the IFComp, you don’t want to go putting it on IFDB because that would be breaching the rules of the comp.
Hence the “when/how” 
Well, after submitting it to the comp, it’ll be uploaded to the archive. Then it’ll be trivial to add to IFDB, probably along with all the other IFComp games, and properly tag it as an IFComp2015 game. Someone usually takes care of the lot, though I’m sure if you added your own game - by that stage and no earlier - it’d be appreciated.
so i just upload it to IFCOMP and that will cause it to end up on IFDB?
Eventually, yes. But it would probably be polite of you to add it yourself, when the time comes. You’ll know when the time comes because the games will start popping up there like mushrooms.
Hmmm, mushrooms. Cream and mushrooms.
The part where you actually add it yourself is very simple, just click “Add a game listing” and follow the instructions.
Superheroes (who are often comp organizers) usually handle adding games to the IFDB and IFWiki.
Once the competition is over, you may want to go to both of these sites and flesh out the pages for your games, as well as adding and/or fleshing out your page as an author.