Transcript enabled. > * OK trying again! > s Dirt Road This is a spot on a rutted dirt road which runs from north to south. Dark woods loom over you but through a break in the trees to the east you see an abandoned shack. > e Shack This is a long-abandoned one-room wooden shack. Thick dust covers broken floorboards and anything of any value was long ago spirited away. All that remains is a pile of sticks and branches in one corner. > search pile You see an old brown fedora in the pile. > take hat Taken. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > w Dirt Road This is a spot on a rutted dirt road which runs from north to south. Dark woods loom over you but through a break in the trees to the east you see an abandoned shack. > s East End Of Bridge You're standing on a dirt road that turns a corner here to lead north away from town and west across a wooden covered bridge. From here it's too dark to see within the wooden structure, much less through to the other side. > s You can't go that way. > w Bridge This is the midpoint of a weathered covered bridge. Many of the floorboards are missing and, in places, you can see through to the river below. It's very dark in here but your eyes can sense slightly less darkness to the east and west. > w Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Doctor Zombie is to the north. > sw Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. > s You can't go that way. Doctor Zombie is to the northeast. > e You can't go that way. Doctor Zombie is to the northeast. > w You can't go that way. Doctor Zombie is to the northeast. > nw Lake View This is the end of a narrow path through the swamp. It continues to the southeast and terminates here on a small wooden pier which juts westward out into the water. Across the water to the north you can just make out the dark hulk of a sprawling mansion in the distance. To the west you can just see the other side of the lake through the mist and moonlight. It's a peaceful spot, quiet except for the frogs and the quiet lapping of the water against the bank. Floating on the dark water to the west you see what looks like a wooden mallet. > s You can't go that way. > n You can't go that way. > se Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. Doctor Zombie is to the northeast. > n You can't go that way. Doctor Zombie is to the northeast. > ne Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Doctor Zombie is to the north. > s You can't go that way. > se Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. > e The Thirsty Leech This is the local drinking establishment. Thick smoke hangs in the oppressive air, yellow in the faint light. It would have charitably been called a dive even in its prime. What it lacks in decor, though, it also lacks in ambiance. But it does have character. Mainly, the character of the clientele. A combo of skeleton musicians is playing on a small bandstand against one wall. On the stage in front of the band there is a black hat intended for tips. Doyle, a gregarious skeleton bartender, is manning the oaken bar. Above the bar is a sign for "Jeer Beer". It shows a smiling skeleton holding a frosty mug and giving a bony "thumbs up." Mr. Johnson, the president of the local bank is sitting at a table here bobbing his skull to the music. > put hat on stage You put the brown fedora on the stage. The band is currently playing "I've Grown Accustomed to her Face (It's here in a jar)." > take black hat Taken. The band is currently playing "I Left My Heart (In the Other Room)." > take coins Taken. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > sw You can't go that way. The band is currently playing "What Are You Doing the Rest of your Afterlife?" > w Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. > w You can't go that way. > s Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Clown Zombie is to the east. > w Taxidermy Shop You can feel your airways constrict from the suffocatingly thick dust in here. Dozens of stuffed animals are mounted on the walls surrounding you. They stare at you with dead glassy eyes. A large stained wooden table occupies the center of the room and a large framed photo hangs from one wall. The exit lies to the east. A small fabric bag sits on the table. > take bag Taken. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > x it It's full of some kind of smelly powder. But it's sewn shut and doesn't appear to be intended to be opened. A label on the side reads "Aunt Betty's Gator Nip - 4 Out of 5 Alligators recommend Aunt Betty's for hunters who use gator bait." > e Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Clown Zombie is here, absent-mindedly stroking his red nose. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > s Corduroy Road The road here turns and runs north and southeast. To the west lies the imposing hulk of the former bank, a still-substantial stone structure. Clown Zombie is to the north. > w Bank This is the local bank which used to service the living and now serves the dead and mostly-dead. It's the best-preserved and only stone structure left in town. Your footsteps echo flatly off the stone floor and walls. There is a long wooden counter fronting the north wall. At the end of the counter stands a metal trash can. The entrance to the vault is to the west. > x can It's a metal garbage can. > look in can In the garbage can you see a slip of paper. > take slip Taken. > x it It's a blank discarded deposit slip. > read it It's a blank deposit slip from the bank. > ne You can't go that way. > e Corduroy Road The road here turns and runs north and southeast. To the west lies the imposing hulk of the former bank, a still-substantial stone structure. Mechanic Zombie is to the north. Clown Zombie is to the north. > n Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Mechanic Zombie is here, turning his cap from back to front and back again. Clown Zombie is here, picking debris from his purple wig. > n Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. Mechanic Zombie is to the south. Clown Zombie is to the south. > e The Thirsty Leech This is the local drinking establishment. Thick smoke hangs in the oppressive air, yellow in the faint light. It would have charitably been called a dive even in its prime. What it lacks in decor, though, it also lacks in ambiance. But it does have character. Mainly, the character of the clientele. A combo of skeleton musicians is playing on a small bandstand against one wall. Doyle, a gregarious skeleton bartender, is manning the oaken bar. Above the bar is a sign for "Jeer Beer". It shows a smiling skeleton holding a frosty mug and giving a bony "thumbs up." Mr. Johnson, the president of the local bank is sitting at a table here bobbing his skull to the music. > show slip to johnson He takes the slip, adjusts his glassess, and squints at it. Satisfied, he deposits it into a breast pocket. "Do you have anything to deposit?" The band is currently playing "The Ghoul from Ipanema." > show coins to johnson "Ah, well then. Follow me, we can take care of this in no time." He hoists himself up, a little unsteady and clearly having had a bit too much to drink. Johnson clatters off to the west. > w Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. Johnson is here. Clown Zombie is to the south. Johnson clatters off to the south. > s Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Johnson is here. Clown Zombie is to the south. Johnson clatters off to the south. > s Corduroy Road The road here turns and runs north and southeast. To the west lies the imposing hulk of the former bank, a still-substantial stone structure. Johnson is here. Clown Zombie is here, tracing patterns in the colorful dots of his jumper. Johnson clatters off to the west. Clown Zombie shuffles off to the north. > w Bank This is the local bank which used to service the living and now serves the dead and mostly-dead. It's the best-preserved and only stone structure left in town. Your footsteps echo flatly off the stone floor and walls. There is a long wooden counter fronting the north wall. At the end of the counter stands a metal trash can. The entrance to the vault is to the west. Johnson is here. Mr. Johnson moves to the safe. With shockingly deft skeletal fingers he twirls the dial back and forth several times. You feel and hear a deep "clunk" and the door pops slightly ajar. "There you go. Put whatever you need in the safe. Just don't forget to close the door when you leave. " He smiles and doffs an imaginary hat to you. Johnson clatters off to the east. > w In The Vault This is the inside of the stone-lined claustrophobic vault. Banks of safe-deposit boxes line three of the walls and the door to the east is slightly ajar. On the floor you see a shiny brooch. > take brooch Taken. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > i You have a brooch, a bag of gator nip, some coins, and a black fedora. You're wearing a backpack. > e Bank This is the local bank which used to service the living and now serves the dead and mostly-dead. It's the best-preserved and only stone structure left in town. Your footsteps echo flatly off the stone floor and walls. There is a long wooden counter fronting the north wall. At the end of the counter stands a metal trash can. The entrance to the vault is to the west. > e Corduroy Road The road here turns and runs north and southeast. To the west lies the imposing hulk of the former bank, a still-substantial stone structure. Clown Zombie is to the southeast. > n Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. Suddenly, someone hits you in the back of the head, knocking you to the ground. Lying on your back, you look up into the face of a very tall, very muscular man with yellow eyes and an evil leer on his face. Before you can react, he lunges down and grabs you by the shirt, picking you up and spinning you around as if you were a rag doll. While you are distracted by the big guy, someone behind you slips a handkerchief over your face. You smell an intense chemical smell. Everything immediately goes black.... You have a hazy sensation of lying on a hard table. A tall man with disheveled white hair stands over you, waving a glowing amulet in your face and chanting in a foreign tongue. At some point you feel someone cut a lock of your hair. (Really? Who does that?) A moment later, you feel warm liquid being dripped into one ear. "Put them in the holding cell while they make the change," a distant echoing voice says. After several minutes (hours? days?) you wake up on a thin lumpy mattress in a dingy room. > take pointer You can't do anything until you get up. > get up (first attempting to get off the mattress) You get off the mattress. You can't go that way. > take pointer Taken. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. You hear a metal door "clang" open and the white-haired man from your chloroform-induced haze enters the room from the north, a short pear-shaped man behind him. Finally, you see the very tall blonde man who accosted you bringing up the rear. "Hello, there," the tall white-haired man begins. "I'm Dr. Ulysses Renfro. It was nice of you to come visit us, usually we have to go on the road to find subjects to turn," he chuckles disturbingly. "This is my associate Lafayette Gantry," he motions to the shorter gentleman, "and this is Albrecht," he waves toward the towering blonde figure. "I have some business to attend to," He turns to Gantry. "I'm going to the boat to work on the presentation for the investors. Annoyingly, I can't seem to find my laser pointer." He steps to the bars to face you. "You'll stay here until you've completed your transformation. I would enjoy my last hours of independent thought if I were you." The trio turn and leave to the north. You again hear the metallic "clang" of a door slamming shut. > move mattress It's already up against the wall. > look behind mattress It's pushed up against the wall. > pull mattress It's too heavy and awkward to pick up but you manage to pull it slightly away from the wall, exposing a gap in the logs, level with the floor. A cat pads silently into the room through the north doorway. He approaches the cell and hops through the bars. He begins to purr as he rubs against your legs. > look in gap In the hole you see a mouse trap. > take mouse Taken. Ew. > pet cat He purrs louder and happily rubs his head against your hand. > shine pointer at key The laser pointer isn't on. > turn on pointer You switch the laser pointer on. > shine pointer at key You see a bright red dot briefly bloom on the silver key. The cat freezes. He sees the point of light and runs over to the hook, leaping up to swat at the red dot. He manages to knock the key off the hook and onto the floor. He paws at the shiny metal object for a moment then takes the key ring in his mouth. Quite proud of himself, he pads back over to the cell and steps inside. > give mouse to cat The cat isn't sure at first if you can be trusted. But the offer is too good to pass up. He drops the key and takes the dead mouse in his mouth. Happily, he trots away out the doorway to the north. > take key Taken. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > unlock door (with the silver key) You unlock the door with the silver key. > out (first attempting to open the door to the north) You open the door. Dark Room This appears to be a small dimly-lit room in a repurposed log cabin. The only illumination comes from a bare light bulb hanging from the low ceiling and the walls are made of logs stacked together. Incongruently, a barred cell takes up most of the room to the south. Although the cabin is decidedly rustic, the floor is concrete. An open doorway leads north into darkness. A pair of bolt cutters lies discarded in one corner. A small hook is attached to the wall next to the doorway. > take cutters Taken. > n Anteroom This is a tiny dark anteroom. A larger space lies to the south and a closed wooden door lies to the north. You see a backpack here. You see a black fedora here. You see some coins here. You see a bag of gator nip here. You see a brooch here. > take all The backpack: Taken. The flashlight: Taken. The boarding pass: Taken. The black fedora: Taken. The coins: Taken. The bag of gator nip: Taken. The brooch: Taken. > put all in backpack The brooch: You put the brooch in the backpack. The bag of gator nip: You put the bag of gator nip in the backpack. The coins: You put the coins in the backpack. The black fedora: You put the black fedora in the backpack. The boarding pass: You put the boarding pass in the backpack. The flashlight: You put the flashlight in the backpack. The bolt cutters: You put the bolt cutters in the backpack. The silver key: You put the silver key in the backpack. The laser pointer: You put the laser pointer in the backpack. > n (first attempting to open the door to the north) You open the door. Outside Cabin This is the eastern end of a muddy spur that leads back to the west. A rough-hewn cabin lies to the south, surrounded by and nestled in the dark woods. There is a boarded-over window on either side of the wooden front door. As you pass through the door it swings shut behind you and locks with a "click". > score Your score is 50 points out of 300, in 99 moves, designating you a seer of dead people. > about "Zomburbia" A Text Adventure Game (C) 2023 Charles Moore, Jr. Special thanks to IF Community Forum members Warrigal and Jade for invaluable playtesting assistance. The command 'winnable on' will declare whether the game is or is not in an unwinnable state. If you prefer "expert mode", this can be turned off with 'winnable off' and it is also off initially by default. > winnable on Now the 'score' command will also indicate if the game is currently winnable. > score Your score is 50 points out of 300, in 99 moves, designating you a seer of dead people. The game is winnable from this point. > save Game state saved successfully. > n You can't go that way. > w Muddy Trace The blackness of the woods encroach and hover over this rutted path of packed mud. There are gaps in the darkness to the east and west. > w Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Mascot Zombie is here, clapping his furry paws together slowly. Clown Zombie is to the north. > s Corduroy Road The road here turns and runs north and southeast. To the west lies the imposing hulk of the former bank, a still-substantial stone structure. Mascot Zombie is to the north. > se River Road The road here turns northwest toward town or further off to the east. Low thorny vegetation prevents you from accessing the river directly but from here you can look out across the wide expanse of water glistening in the moonlight. The dark hulk of a steamboat lies offshore approximately fifty meters. > e Wharf This is a low wharf at the end of the road. Steamboats carrying tobacco and corn would have regularly moored here when this was a more prosperous area. A dilapidated road begins here and leads west. Offshore there is a steamboat anchored approximately fifty meters out in the river. You can step down from here onto a flat muddy patch of riverbank. > e You can't go that way. You notice you feel a bit feverish. > d Riverbank The bank can be treacherous but this is a relatively flat and secure spot. The black water here laps at your feet. The steamboat is anchored directly to the south. From here you can step up back onto the wharf. > u Wharf This is a low wharf at the end of the road. Steamboats carrying tobacco and corn would have regularly moored here when this was a more prosperous area. A dilapidated road begins here and leads west. Offshore there is a steamboat anchored approximately fifty meters out in the river. You can step down from here onto a flat muddy patch of riverbank. > w River Road The road here turns northwest toward town or further off to the east. Low thorny vegetation prevents you from accessing the river directly but from here you can look out across the wide expanse of water glistening in the moonlight. The dark hulk of a steamboat lies offshore approximately fifty meters. Mascot Zombie is to the northwest. > w You can't go that way. Mascot Zombie is to the northwest. > nw Corduroy Road The road here turns and runs north and southeast. To the west lies the imposing hulk of the former bank, a still-substantial stone structure. Mascot Zombie is here doing very slow and sad jumping jacks. > n Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Clown Zombie is to the north. Mascot Zombie is to the south. > n Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. Clown Zombie is here, absent-mindedly stroking his red nose. > n You can't go that way. > ne You can't go that way. Clown Zombie suddenly notices you and his face contorts into a terrible grimace. He emits an unhuman scream and you are suddenly surrounded on all sides by a horde of the mostly-dead. You are hit from behind, knocking you senseless. When you regain consciousness...well, you never actually do regain full consciousness. You just sort of drool, moan, and shuffle away your days as a zombie yourself. *** You have turned *** Game over. Your score is 50 out of a possible 300, in 115 moves. This designates you a seer of dead people. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (ne). Corduroy Road > nw Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Clown Zombie is to the southeast. > sw Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. > nw Lake View This is the end of a narrow path through the swamp. It continues to the southeast and terminates here on a small wooden pier which juts westward out into the water. Across the water to the north you can just make out the dark hulk of a sprawling mansion in the distance. To the west you can just see the other side of the lake through the mist and moonlight. It's a peaceful spot, quiet except for the frogs and the quiet lapping of the water against the bank. Floating on the dark water to the west you see what looks like a wooden mallet. > se Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. > ne Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. > e Bridge This is the midpoint of a weathered covered bridge. Many of the floorboards are missing and, in places, you can see through to the river below. It's very dark in here but your eyes can sense slightly less darkness to the east and west. > n You can't go that way. > w Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Clown Zombie is to the southeast. > n Yard This is the center of what was once the carefully manicured front yard of the mansion. The grass is weedy and overgrown. Several once-decorative shrubs are still here but are only overgrown amorphous blobs at this point. The stone path weaves north through the weeds to the front portico of the house and south towards a road junction. Mechanic Zombie is to the north. > n Portico This is the entryway into the mansion. The stately portico surrounded by tall Grecian columns still retains a bit of its former panache. The front door to the north has been boarded shut. The front yard lies to the south and there is a path running east and west skirting the front of the house. Mechanic Zombie is here buttoning and un-buttoning one of the buttons of his overalls. > save Game state saved successfully. > e Eastern Front This is a spot in front of the mansion to the east of the front entrance which lies to the west. You can walk around the house to the northeast. Mechanic Zombie is to the west. > ne East Of Mansion This is the eastern side of the mansion which towers over you. You can walk around to the north and south. Built into the foundation here you see a pair of wooden cellar doors. > n Behind House-East You're behind the eastern edge of the mansion which lies to the south. You can walk around the house to the southeast and a path continues west towards the back door. > w Back Door This is the back door of the mansion, previously used exclusively by the staff. It's now emphatically boarded shut. You can continue east and west along the back of the house and north into the ornamental garden. There is a wooden trellis fixed to the side of the house here extending upward. You are here. > climb trellis You gingerly step up on the trellis and slowly pull your way upward. Trellis Top You are clinging to the top of a rotting wooden trellis fixed to the side of the mansion. There is a broken window to the south. The trellis seems to groan softly. > s Bedroom nursery This must have previously been a nursery. Most of the walls are now peeling paint and cracked plaster but you can also see patchy areas of faded robin's egg blue and a few white clouds. The door out lies to the west. As you haul yourself into the window, you hear a loud "crack" and the trellis finally gives, crumpling to the ground below in a dusty heap. [Your score has gone up by 20 points.] > score Your score is 70 points out of 300, in 130 moves, designating you a seer of dead people. The game is winnable from this point. > s You can't go that way. > e You can't go that way. > l Bedroom nursery This must have previously been a nursery. Most of the walls are now peeling paint and cracked plaster but you can also see patchy areas of faded robin's egg blue and a few white clouds. The door out lies to the west. > w Hallway North End This is the northern end of a long hallway that extends to the south. A doorway lies to the east. Andora enters from the south. > s Hallway This is a hallway leading north and south. A doorway lies to the west and an open dumbwaiter is embedded in the east wall. > w Bedroom This is a nondescript former bedroom, notable mainly for large amounts of dust and large strips of old faded wallpaper hanging from the walls. The room is empty except for a feather-stuffed down mattress pushed up against one wall. > take mattress You're already holding too much. > put all in backpack Did you want to: 1. put something in the backpack, or 2. put the backpack in the backpack? (Type the corresponding number) > 1 You're not aware of any such thing! > i You have a backpack. > open it The down mattress doesn't open. > open backpak (I only understood you as far as wanting to open something.) > open backpack The backpack is already open. > look in int (I only understood you as far as wanting to look in something.) > look in it In the backpack you see a laser pointer, a silver key, a pair of bolt cutters, a flashlight, a boarding pass, a black fedora, some coins, a bag of gator nip, and a brooch. > wear backpack You put on the backpack. > take mattress Taken. > e Hallway This is a hallway leading north and south. A doorway lies to the west and an open dumbwaiter is embedded in the east wall. Andora the maid is here, humming while she sweeps. Andora sweeps away to the west. > put mattress in dumbwaiter You put the down mattress in the dumbwaiter. Andora enters from the west. > s Hallway Middle This is roughly the midpoint of a long north-south hallway. An ornate carved wooden staircase begins here and leads downward to a broad landing. > w You can't go that way. > s Hallway South End This is the south end of a long north-south hallway. There's a large room through a doorway to the south and a smaller room to the west. > w Study The air in this room is dry and heavy with the smell of old books and dust. A large wooden desk dominates the center of the room and a brass hat hook is fixed to the wall next to the doorway. A large bookcase full of dusty volumes fills the north wall. > pull hook With a deep "chunk" the hook pivots downward as you pull it and immediately rebounds to its original position. With a low rumble the center section of the bookcase rotates revealing a space behind. [Your score has gone up by 20 points.] > e Hallway South End This is the south end of a long north-south hallway. There's a large room through a doorway to the south and a smaller room to the west. > e You can't go that way. > s Master Bedroom This appears to have been the master bedroom. It's a large wood-panelled room but much of the panelling is cracked and broken. The framework of an old canopy bed lies in the center of the room. The only exit is to the north. > x framework (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > n Hallway South End This is the south end of a long north-south hallway. There's a large room through a doorway to the south and a smaller room to the west. > xs (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > s Master Bedroom This appears to have been the master bedroom. It's a large wood-panelled room but much of the panelling is cracked and broken. The framework of an old canopy bed lies in the center of the room. The only exit is to the north. > x bed It's the skeletal wooden framework of a once luxuriant canopy bed. > n Hallway South End This is the south end of a long north-south hallway. There's a large room through a doorway to the south and a smaller room to the west. > n Hallway Middle This is roughly the midpoint of a long north-south hallway. An ornate carved wooden staircase begins here and leads downward to a broad landing. Andora the maid is here, humming while she sweeps. Andora sweeps away to the south. > d Landing This is a wide landing halfway up or down a broad ornate staircase. A grand entry-foyer is below you and an upstairs hallway is above. > d Entry Hall This is the formal entry foyer into the mansion. Thick dust coats the marble floor and tendrils of cobwebs hang from the ceiling high above. A hallway starts here and leads north. The main entrance, a substantial set of French double doors, lies to the south but has been nailed and boarded over. Arched doorways lead to the east and west. A broad staircase begins here and leads upward to a wide landing. > n Great Hall This is a wide long hall. The tattered remnants of a scarlet carpet run down the center. Small chandeliers hang from the ceiling every few feet. The hallway continues north and south and a large arched doorway lies to the east. > s Entry Hall This is the formal entry foyer into the mansion. Thick dust coats the marble floor and tendrils of cobwebs hang from the ceiling high above. A hallway starts here and leads north. The main entrance, a substantial set of French double doors, lies to the south but has been nailed and boarded over. Arched doorways lead to the east and west. A broad staircase begins here and leads upward to a wide landing. > w Salon This was once a formal sitting room. There are dust-coated overstuffed couches here lined in crushed velvet. Between two of the sofas there is a decorative end table. Portraits of previous denizens of the estate are posted on the walls. Arched doorways lead east and west. On the end table is a pocket watch. > take watch Taken. > n You can't go that way. > w Library This large room is lined floor-to-ceiling with books of every size and color. Cushioned armchairs are scattered about. A wide doorway leads north and a smaller arched doorway leads east. > x booms (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > n Atrium This is a large glass-encased space taking up most of the west side of the mansion. Through the glass you can look out onto the surrounding gardens as well as the cemetery and mausoleum. Farther in the distance you can see the lake, black and glistening in the moonlight. A wide doorway leads south. You catch sight of an antique rifle in the corner. > x rifle It's an old hunting rifle. The barrel has a small crack running partway down it's length. Inscribed onto the stock you see "B.L.". > take it Taken. > s Library This large room is lined floor-to-ceiling with books of every size and color. Cushioned armchairs are scattered about. A wide doorway leads north and a smaller arched doorway leads east. > e Salon This was once a formal sitting room. There are dust-coated overstuffed couches here lined in crushed velvet. Between two of the sofas there is a decorative end table. Portraits of previous denizens of the estate are posted on the walls. Arched doorways lead east and west. > e Entry Hall This is the formal entry foyer into the mansion. Thick dust coats the marble floor and tendrils of cobwebs hang from the ceiling high above. A hallway starts here and leads north. The main entrance, a substantial set of French double doors, lies to the south but has been nailed and boarded over. Arched doorways lead to the east and west. A broad staircase begins here and leads upward to a wide landing. > e Ballroom South This is the southern half of a large ballroom. A massive cobwebbed chandelier hangs from the high arched ceiling and the walls are covered in places with the remains of fine wainscoting. The ballroom floor is marble. An open double doorway leads west and the ballroom continues to the north. > n Ballroom North This is the northern half of a large ballroom. Your footsteps reverberate off the marble floor and echo from the high arched ceiling above. A raised wooden platform occupies the north wall and the ballroom continues to the south. An wide double doorway leads out to the west. > x platform It's a low wooden platform, about ten feet across by five feet deep. > w Great Hall This is a wide long hall. The tattered remnants of a scarlet carpet run down the center. Small chandeliers hang from the ceiling every few feet. The hallway continues north and south and a large arched doorway lies to the east. > n Kitchen This was once the kitchen. An iron stove squats against one wall and wooden counters line the others. The back door to the north is boarded shut. Doorways otherwise lead west, east, and south. > e Pantry This is a small room lined with empty shelves on the north and south walls. A dumbwaiter is in the east wall and the way out is to the west. > w Kitchen This was once the kitchen. An iron stove squats against one wall and wooden counters line the others. The back door to the north is boarded shut. Doorways otherwise lead west, east, and south. > w Servants' Quarters The female servants would have once been quartered here. It's empty now except for dust and cobwebs. The way out is to the east. > e Kitchen This was once the kitchen. An iron stove squats against one wall and wooden counters line the others. The back door to the north is boarded shut. Doorways otherwise lead west, east, and south. > s Great Hall This is a wide long hall. The tattered remnants of a scarlet carpet run down the center. Small chandeliers hang from the ceiling every few feet. The hallway continues north and south and a large arched doorway lies to the east. > s Entry Hall This is the formal entry foyer into the mansion. Thick dust coats the marble floor and tendrils of cobwebs hang from the ceiling high above. A hallway starts here and leads north. The main entrance, a substantial set of French double doors, lies to the south but has been nailed and boarded over. Arched doorways lead to the east and west. A broad staircase begins here and leads upward to a wide landing. > u Landing This is a wide landing halfway up or down a broad ornate staircase. A grand entry-foyer is below you and an upstairs hallway is above. > u Hallway Middle This is roughly the midpoint of a long north-south hallway. An ornate carved wooden staircase begins here and leads downward to a broad landing. > n Hallway This is a hallway leading north and south. A doorway lies to the west and an open dumbwaiter is embedded in the east wall. > e There's no room in there with the down mattress. > w Bedroom This is a nondescript former bedroom, notable mainly for large amounts of dust and large strips of old faded wallpaper hanging from the walls. The room is empty. > s You can't go that way. Your fever seems worse and you start to feel achy, as if you have the flu. > s You can't go that way. > e Hallway This is a hallway leading north and south. A doorway lies to the west and an open dumbwaiter is embedded in the east wall. > s Hallway Middle This is roughly the midpoint of a long north-south hallway. An ornate carved wooden staircase begins here and leads downward to a broad landing. > s Hallway South End This is the south end of a long north-south hallway. There's a large room through a doorway to the south and a smaller room to the west. > w Study The air in this room is dry and heavy with the smell of old books and dust. A large wooden desk dominates the center of the room and a brass hat hook is fixed to the wall next to the doorway. A large bookcase full of dusty volumes fills the north wall. The center section of the bookcase is partially rotated revealing a space behind it. Andora the maid is here, humming while she sweeps. > n Behind The Books This is a small dark nook behind the bookcase. A flight of narrow rickety stairs leads upward into the darkness and the study lies to the south behind the open bookcase. > take flashlight Taken. > turn it on You switch the flashlight on. > u Attic West This is the western half of an expansive attic. Cobwebs hang from the timbers just above your head. Thick dust coats everything and your steps disturb it, causing it to waft into the air in little suffocating clouds. The space is cramped with crates, boxes, and pieces of old furniture. A faint square of light in the wooden floor outlines a narrow stairway leading downward and a narrow path through the clutter leads to the east. You notice what looks like a strange pair of goggles lying on the floor in the dust. > take goggles Taken. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > wear them You put on the goggles. Looking around, you notice that everything now has a subtle shine to it. Attic West This is the western half of an expansive attic. Cobwebs hang from the timbers just above your head. Thick dust coats everything and your steps disturb it, causing it to waft into the air in little suffocating clouds. The space is cramped with crates, boxes, and pieces of old furniture. A faint square of light in the wooden floor outlines a narrow stairway leading downward and a narrow path through the clutter leads to the east. A barefoot ghost is here floating above the floor and slowly rotating in circles. > e Attic East This is the eastern extent of an expansive attic that continues into darkness to the west. Here you can see the the top of the dumbwaiter shaft. A cable attaches to the roof of the dumbwaiter, which is at floor-level here, and rises upwards where it wraps around a winch which is fixed high up in the rafters. > save Game state saved successfully. > i You have a flashlight, a rifle, and a pocket watch. You're wearing some goggles and a backpack. > lookin backpack (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > look in backpack In the backpack you see a laser pointer, a silver key, a pair of bolt cutters, a boarding pass, a black fedora, some coins, a bag of gator nip, and a brooch. > take cutters Taken. > stand on dumbwaiter You get onto the dumbwaiter. > cut cable (with the bolt cutters) You strain with the bolt cutters and with a loud "snap" the cable gives way. The dumbwaiter cab plummets beneath you. You float in near free-fall for an exhilarating instant until gravity reasserts itself. The dumbwaiter cab drops into the cellar with you standing on it. Fortunately, the down mattress inside the dumbwaiter cab blunts the impact just enough so that you find yourself standing unharmed on a small pile of wooden rubble in the cellar surrounded by a swirl of down feathers. Shaft Bottom This is a dark claustrophobic space at the bottom of the dumbwaiter shaft. Looking upward you see only blackness above you. There is an opening in the wall to the west. There's a smashed dumbwaiter cab on the floor. [Your score has gone up by 20 points.] > w Cellar North This is a musty cellar with a packed dirt floor and stone walls. Through a gap in the east wall here you can see into the bottom of the dumbwaiter shaft. Inside you can see the shattered remains of a dumbwaiter cab and the feathery remains of a former down mattress. The cellar continues to the south. > s Cellar South This is the southern end of a dark, musty low-ceilinged but expansive cellar. Through the dim light you can see old pieces of furniture and dusty knickknacks. The cellar continues to the north and to the east there are cracked stone steps leading up towards a double set of wooden doors. > e (first attempting to open the doors to the east) You need to open the latch first. > open latch You slide the latch open. > e (first attempting to open the doors to the east) You open the doors. East Of Mansion This is the eastern side of the mansion which towers over you. You can walk around to the north and south. Built into the foundation here you see a pair of wooden cellar doors. > score Your score is 120 points out of 300, in 212 moves, designating you an overwhelmed interloper. The game is winnable from this point. > ave (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > save Game state saved successfully. > e You can't go that way. > w Cellar South This is the southern end of a dark, musty low-ceilinged but expansive cellar. Through the dim light you can see old pieces of furniture and dusty knickknacks. The cellar continues to the north and to the east there are cracked stone steps leading up towards a double set of wooden doors. > e East Of Mansion This is the eastern side of the mansion which towers over you. You can walk around to the north and south. Built into the foundation here you see a pair of wooden cellar doors. > n Behind House-East You're behind the eastern edge of the mansion which lies to the south. You can walk around the house to the southeast and a path continues west towards the back door. Mechanic Zombie is to the west. > w Back Door This is the back door of the mansion, previously used exclusively by the staff. It's now emphatically boarded shut. You can continue east and west along the back of the house and north into the ornamental garden. There is a wooden trellis fixed to the side of the house here extending upward. You are here. Mechanic Zombie is here absent-mindedly humming what sounds like 'My Sharona.' The remains of a trellis lie here in a dusty pile. Doctor Zombie is to the west. > w Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. Doctor Zombie is here, closely examining his hands. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > w Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. > x zombie He's a hulking figure, at least 6' 3'', and was apparently an avid body builder in his previous life. He's wearing denim short-shorts and a muscle tank top with an advertisement for 'ladies' night' at a Texas bar. He appears to be wearing a key on a chain around his neck. > show brooch to zombie (first attempting to take the brooch) Taken. Muscle Zombie suddenly notices you and his face contorts into a terrible grimace. He emits an unhuman scream and you are suddenly surrounded on all sides by a horde of the mostly-dead. You are hit from behind, knocking you senseless. When you regain consciousness...well, you never actually do regain full consciousness. You just sort of drool, moan, and shuffle away your days as a zombie yourself. *** You have turned *** Game over. Your score is 120 out of a possible 300, in 221 moves. This designates you an overwhelmed interloper. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (show brooch to zombie). Outside Mausoleum > e Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. Doctor Zombie is to the southwest. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > w Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. > give brooch to zombie (first attempting to take the brooch) Taken. Muscle Zombie takes the brooch from you, smiles, and stares into it. He appears hypnotized and unable to take his eyes off of it. > take key Taken. > unlock door With what? > key Did you want to unlock the mausoleum door to the west with the skeleton key or the silver key? > skeleton (first attempting to take the skeleton key) You gingerly take the key from around his neck. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > w (first attempting to open the mausoleum door to the west) (first attempting to unlock the mausoleum door to the west with the skeleton key) You unlock the mausoleum door with the skeleton key. The door is heavy and the hinges make a rusty screech as you open it. Mausoleum Your footfalls echo off the stone walls and you leave footsteps in the thick dust. Inscriptions line the walls, denoting the final resting place of previous inhabitants of the estate who've been entombed in the marble. Moonlight filters in from the open doorway to the east and a stairway leads downward through a doorway to the north. > n Mausoleum Basement This is the eastern end of a dark corridor. Far to the west you can see dim diffuse light. A stairway here leads upward to the south. > s Mausoleum Your footfalls echo off the stone walls and you leave footsteps in the thick dust. Inscriptions line the walls, denoting the final resting place of previous inhabitants of the estate who've been entombed in the marble. Moonlight filters in from the open doorway to the east and a stairway leads downward through a doorway to the north. > e Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. > s You can't go that way. > e Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. > s You can't go that way. > se You can't go that way. > sw West Of Mansion This is the western face of the mansion. A glassy enclosed atrium dominates this side of the house. A path here runs north and south and the stables lie to the west. Doctor Zombie is to the south. > s Western Front This is a spot in front of the mansion to the west of the front portico which lies to the east. You can walk around the house to the northwest. Doctor Zombie is here making motor-boat noises with his mouth. > s You can't go that way. > e Portico This is the entryway into the mansion. The stately portico surrounded by tall Grecian columns still retains a bit of its former panache. The front door to the north has been boarded shut. The front yard lies to the south and there is a path running east and west skirting the front of the house. Doctor Zombie is to the west. > s Yard This is the center of what was once the carefully manicured front yard of the mansion. The grass is weedy and overgrown. Several once-decorative shrubs are still here but are only overgrown amorphous blobs at this point. The stone path weaves north through the weeds to the front portico of the house and south towards a road junction. > s Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. > e Bridge This is the midpoint of a weathered covered bridge. Many of the floorboards are missing and, in places, you can see through to the river below. It's very dark in here but your eyes can sense slightly less darkness to the east and west. > w Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. > s You can't go that way. > e Bridge This is the midpoint of a weathered covered bridge. Many of the floorboards are missing and, in places, you can see through to the river below. It's very dark in here but your eyes can sense slightly less darkness to the east and west. > nw You can't go that way. > w Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. > sw Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. > ne Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. > se Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. > e The Thirsty Leech This is the local drinking establishment. Thick smoke hangs in the oppressive air, yellow in the faint light. It would have charitably been called a dive even in its prime. What it lacks in decor, though, it also lacks in ambiance. But it does have character. Mainly, the character of the clientele. A combo of skeleton musicians is playing on a small bandstand against one wall. Doyle, a gregarious skeleton bartender, is manning the oaken bar. Above the bar is a sign for "Jeer Beer". It shows a smiling skeleton holding a frosty mug and giving a bony "thumbs up." Several ghosts holding ghostly mugs and cocktail glasses sit on or float slightly above bar stools. Mr. Johnson, the president of the local bank is sitting at a table here bobbing his skull to the music. > buy beer You don't have any money. > i You have a skeleton key, a silver key, a pair of bolt cutters, a flashlight, a rifle, and a pocket watch. You're wearing some goggles and a backpack. > take coins Taken. > buy beer "Sure thing, friend. One cold one coming up." Doyle takes the coins from you and produces a cold mug from under the bar, fills it from the tap, and slides it across the bar to you. The band is currently playing "I've Grown Accustomed to her Face (It's here in a jar)." > drink it (first attempting to take the mug) Taken. You take a gulp. The golden glowing fluid is delicious as it slides down your gullet. After a moment, though, you start to feel slightly dizzy and the room around you seems to go dark and withdraw into the distance. You blink heavily and you are suddenly standing in a dark hallway. The floor and walls are stone and seem to be glowing slightly, providing light. The hallway leads west into the darkness. Dark Hallway You're standing at the end of a dim hallway. It extends west into darkness. > w Dark Hallway This is the end of a dark hallway. It leads east into pitch blackness. Misty light filters out of an open doorway to the north. > w You can't go that way. > n Shrine Dozens of burning candles are placed all around this room and a forest of strands of beads hangs from the ceiling. Incense burns from several dishes scattered on the floor. You hear and feel a strange musical humming from an unlocatable source. A large table or altar is pushed against the far wall. It's covered with a white cloth and a wide variety of seemingly random items ranging from black-and-white photos to bottles of various wines and spirits. Arranged against the west wall you see two statues that have apparently come to life. A chicken statue and a crocodile statue are sitting at a small table playing cards. > x chicken Not much to say, really. It's a large stone chicken playing cards. The statues seem to notice you standing there. Looking up from their cards, they turn their heads toward you and smile. > z Time passes. Suddenly, the air around you seems to spark and crackle and the humming grows louder. Once again your vision begins to fade and you feel yourself propelled by some unseen engine down a dark hallway. Abruptly, all is quiet. You blink your eyes and find yourself back in the bar. The Thirsty Leech This is the local drinking establishment. Thick smoke hangs in the oppressive air, yellow in the faint light. It would have charitably been called a dive even in its prime. What it lacks in decor, though, it also lacks in ambiance. But it does have character. Mainly, the character of the clientele. A combo of skeleton musicians is playing on a small bandstand against one wall. Doyle, a gregarious skeleton bartender, is manning the oaken bar. Above the bar is a sign for "Jeer Beer". It shows a smiling skeleton holding a frosty mug and giving a bony "thumbs up." Several ghosts holding ghostly mugs and cocktail glasses sit on or float slightly above bar stools. Mr. Johnson, the president of the local bank is sitting at a table here bobbing his skull to the music. There's a beer mug on the bar. > w Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. Mascot Zombie is to the south. > n You can't go that way. Mascot Zombie is to the south. > w You can't go that way. Mascot Zombie is to the south. > ne You can't go that way. Mascot Zombie is to the south. Mascot Zombie shuffles in. > nw Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Mascot Zombie is to the southeast. Doctor Zombie is to the north. > n Yard This is the center of what was once the carefully manicured front yard of the mansion. The grass is weedy and overgrown. Several once-decorative shrubs are still here but are only overgrown amorphous blobs at this point. The stone path weaves north through the weeds to the front portico of the house and south towards a road junction. Doctor Zombie is here peering intently into his stethoscope. > w You can't go that way. > nw You can't go that way. Doctor Zombie suddenly notices you and his face contorts into a terrible grimace. He emits an unhuman scream and you are suddenly surrounded on all sides by a horde of the mostly-dead. You are hit from behind, knocking you senseless. When you regain consciousness...well, you never actually do regain full consciousness. You just sort of drool, moan, and shuffle away your days as a zombie yourself. *** You have turned *** Game over. Your score is 130 out of a possible 300, in 271 moves. This designates you a paranormal dilettante. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (nw). Yard > l Yard This is the center of what was once the carefully manicured front yard of the mansion. The grass is weedy and overgrown. Several once-decorative shrubs are still here but are only overgrown amorphous blobs at this point. The stone path weaves north through the weeds to the front portico of the house and south towards a road junction. Doctor Zombie is here, closely examining his hands. Doctor Zombie suddenly notices you and his face contorts into a terrible grimace. He emits an unhuman scream and you are suddenly surrounded on all sides by a horde of the mostly-dead. You are hit from behind, knocking you senseless. When you regain consciousness...well, you never actually do regain full consciousness. You just sort of drool, moan, and shuffle away your days as a zombie yourself. *** You have turned *** Game over. Your score is 130 out of a possible 300, in 271 moves. This designates you a paranormal dilettante. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (l). Yard > n Portico This is the entryway into the mansion. The stately portico surrounded by tall Grecian columns still retains a bit of its former panache. The front door to the north has been boarded shut. The front yard lies to the south and there is a path running east and west skirting the front of the house. Doctor Zombie is to the south. > w Western Front This is a spot in front of the mansion to the west of the front portico which lies to the east. You can walk around the house to the northwest. > nw West Of Mansion This is the western face of the mansion. A glassy enclosed atrium dominates this side of the house. A path here runs north and south and the stables lie to the west. Mechanic Zombie is to the north. > w Stables East It smells of old hay and manure in here. The ground is packed mud with scattered patches of molded straw. Several horse-stalls here are empty. The stable continues to the west and the way out is to the east. > w Stables West This is the western half of the stable. You can return to the east and a large wooden ladder leads upward into a hay loft. > u Hay Loft This is a wooden platform built high in the upper reaches of the stables. There's very little hay left and what remains is mainly dust at this point. There is a shovel leaning against one of the beams (you'd rather not contemplate what it used to shovel). > take shovel Taken. > d Stables West This is the western half of the stable. You can return to the east and a large wooden ladder leads upward into a hay loft. > e Stables East It smells of old hay and manure in here. The ground is packed mud with scattered patches of molded straw. Several horse-stalls here are empty. The stable continues to the west and the way out is to the east. > n You can't go that way. > e West Of Mansion This is the western face of the mansion. A glassy enclosed atrium dominates this side of the house. A path here runs north and south and the stables lie to the west. > n Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. Mechanic Zombie is here, turning his cap from back to front and back again. > w Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. > w Mausoleum Your footfalls echo off the stone walls and you leave footsteps in the thick dust. Inscriptions line the walls, denoting the final resting place of previous inhabitants of the estate who've been entombed in the marble. Moonlight filters in from the open doorway to the east and a stairway leads downward through a doorway to the north. > n Mausoleum Basement This is the eastern end of a dark corridor. Far to the west you can see dim diffuse light. A stairway here leads upward to the south. > w Corridor This is a dark stone-lined corridor leading east toward a stairway leading upward and west into darkness. > w Corridor You're in a dark east-west running corridor. You think maybe there is subtly brightening light to the west. The corridor continues east into darkness. > n You can't go that way. > w Corridor End This is the western end of a long stone-lined corridor. Bright flickering light streams through a doorway to the north. > n Shrine Dozens of burning candles are placed all around this room and a forest of strands of beads hangs from the ceiling. Incense burns from several dishes scattered on the floor. You hear and feel a strange musical humming from an unlocatable source. A large table or altar is pushed against the far wall. It's covered with a white cloth and a wide variety of seemingly random items ranging from black-and-white photos to bottles of various wines and spirits. Arranged against the west wall you see five stone statues: a tiger, an elephant, a monkey, a crocodile, and a chicken. Each statue seems to be fixed to a round stone base. They are all turned facing away from you. A carved wooden statue is standing in the corner. > turn chicken You rotate the chicken statue to face you. With a "click" it locks into place. > turn crocodile You rotate the crocodile statue to face you. With a "click" it locks into place. You hear a "click" from somewhere within the statues but nothing immediately seems to happen. Then, from over in the corner you hear a breathy scream. "Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod, I can move!" You look over to see the wooden statue now animate and excitedly bouncing up and down. He trundles over to you and hugs your leg. "Thank you, nice person. I'm Kevin. I've been here longer than I can remember and I've seen so many terrible things. I sure hope you're here to get rid of the doctor man!" [Your score has gone up by 20 points.] > hi, kevin You say hello to nobody in particular. (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > ask kevin about doctor "He's scary. But He does weird things and makes people act strange. You'll probably start to act strange soon, too." > s Corridor End This is the western end of a long stone-lined corridor. Bright flickering light streams through a doorway to the north. Kevin tags along behind. > save Game state saved successfully. > e Corridor You're in a dark east-west running corridor. You think maybe there is subtly brightening light to the west. The corridor continues east into darkness. Kevin runs in. > e Corridor This is a dark stone-lined corridor leading east toward a stairway leading upward and west into darkness. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > e Mausoleum Basement This is the eastern end of a dark corridor. Far to the west you can see dim diffuse light. A stairway here leads upward to the south. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > s Mausoleum Your footfalls echo off the stone walls and you leave footsteps in the thick dust. Inscriptions line the walls, denoting the final resting place of previous inhabitants of the estate who've been entombed in the marble. Moonlight filters in from the open doorway to the east and a stairway leads downward through a doorway to the north. Kevin enters the room. > e Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > n Cemetery South This is the south end of an extensive cemetery. Generations of descendants from the estate were buried here as well as countless townspeople from the surrounding region. Dozens of headstones, some intact, some cracked, and some lying on the ground, shine in the moonlight. You can hear laughter and muffled conversations on the night air and you can see numerous ghosts floating and darting among the rows. Some are dressed in fine suits and dresses, others in plain work clothes. Paths lead north, south, and east. Boudreau Lanley is to the north. Kevin clatters along behind you. > n Cemetery North This is the northern end of the cemetery. Rows of headstones surround you, popping up out of the weeds. Colorful glowing spirits swirl about you as they converse and chase after each other among the headstones. Paths continue northwest towards the lake and south deeper into the cemetery. Just off the path lies a particularly prominent grave with an intact headstone. A glowing specter is here sitting on a headstone. This is Boudreau Lanley; he was once the huntsman and gamekeeper for the estate. He is glowing purple and wearing hunting apparel. Kevin tags along behind. > give rifle to boudreau He caresses the rifle, his eyes shining wetly. "Thank you, sir. You've made an old ghost very happy. You are welcome to whatever you find in my grave." He doffs his hat and disappears in a puff of purple mist. > dig grave (with the shovel) You start to dig. Luckily, recent rains have softened the ground and made your defilement more convenient. Kevin suddenly stops and jumps up and down excitedly. "Hey, look what I can do." He screw his eyes closed and balls his fists tight. He strains and grunts. With a "POP" a small compartment suddenly opens in his abdomen. A cigarette lighter rolls out onto the floor. "How did that get in there?" Kevin hollers, surprised. "I hate fire!". Suddenly embarrassed, he hurriedly closes his hatch. > take lighter Taken. > save Game state saved successfully. > look in grave The grave is empty. > l Cemetery North This is the northern end of the cemetery. Rows of headstones surround you, popping up out of the weeds. Colorful glowing spirits swirl about you as they converse and chase after each other among the headstones. Paths continue northwest towards the lake and south deeper into the cemetery. Just off the path lies a particularly prominent grave with an intact headstone. Kevin is here. > x grave The dirt over the grave has been disturbed. > dig grave (with the shovel) You've made significant progress, there's an impressive mound of dirt next to the hole you've made. > g (with the shovel) As you dig in the soft earth you suddenly catch a glimpse of metal. > g (with the shovel) You should probably stop before you trap yourself in an open grave. > x metal It's a silver whistle open at one end and pursed at the other. Kevin is here doing the 'mashed potato'. > take whistle Taken. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > x it It's a silver whistle open at one end and pursed at the other. > i You have a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, a skeleton key, a silver key, a pair of bolt cutters, a flashlight, and a pocket watch. You're wearing some goggles and a backpack. > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. > * huh > save Game state saved successfully. > l Cemetery North This is the northern end of the cemetery. Rows of headstones surround you, popping up out of the weeds. Colorful glowing spirits swirl about you as they converse and chase after each other among the headstones. Paths continue northwest towards the lake and south deeper into the cemetery. Just off the path lies a particularly prominent grave with an intact headstone. Kevin is here. > nw Lake View This is an elevated rocky crag jutting out into the lake. Moonlight reflects off the black water below. The path leads southeast. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > se Cemetery North This is the northern end of the cemetery. Rows of headstones surround you, popping up out of the weeds. Colorful glowing spirits swirl about you as they converse and chase after each other among the headstones. Paths continue northwest towards the lake and south deeper into the cemetery. Just off the path lies a particularly prominent grave with an intact headstone. Kevin clatters along behind you. > e You can't go that way. > s Cemetery South This is the south end of an extensive cemetery. Generations of descendants from the estate were buried here as well as countless townspeople from the surrounding region. Dozens of headstones, some intact, some cracked, and some lying on the ground, shine in the moonlight. You can hear laughter and muffled conversations on the night air and you can see numerous ghosts floating and darting among the rows. Some are dressed in fine suits and dresses, others in plain work clothes. Paths lead north, south, and east. Kevin runs in. > e Path This is a stone path leading east toward the ornamental gardens and west towards the family cemetery. To the north a small wooden shack squats against the edge of the lake. Kevin clatters along behind you. Kevin is here polishing a scuff mark on his belly. > n Groundskeeper's Shack This would have been the quarters of the groundskeeper in charge of maintaining the extensive gardens surrounding the estate. The windows are broken and many of the floorboards are missing. You see a pair of work gloves here. Kevin tags along behind. Kevin is here doing the 'mashed potato'. > take gloves Taken. > wear glove (I only understood you as far as wanting to wear something.) > wear gloves You put on the work gloves. > s Path This is a stone path leading east toward the ornamental gardens and west towards the family cemetery. To the north a small wooden shack squats against the edge of the lake. Kevin clatters along behind you. > e Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. Kevin enters the room. > enter gazebo Gazebo You are standing under a circus tent roof in a charming small gazebo. The white paint has largely peeled away from the wooden railing and pillars. From here you can step out into the formal gardens. On the floor you see a pair of hedge clippers. Kevin runs in. > take clippers You're already holding too much. > i You have a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, a skeleton key, a silver key, a pair of bolt cutters, a flashlight, and a pocket watch. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. You notice that your skin seem to be taking on a greenish pallor. > put all in backpack The whistle: You would first need to remove the backpack. > out Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. Mechanic Zombie is to the south. Kevin enters the room. > s Back Door This is the back door of the mansion, previously used exclusively by the staff. It's now emphatically boarded shut. You can continue east and west along the back of the house and north into the ornamental garden. There is a wooden trellis fixed to the side of the house here extending upward. You are here. The remains of a trellis lie here in a dusty pile. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. Kevin tags along behind. > i You have a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, a skeleton key, a silver key, a pair of bolt cutters, a flashlight, and a pocket watch. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > drop key Did you want to drop the skeleton key or the silver key? > both (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > drop skeleton Dropped. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > drop silver Did you want to drop the whistle or the silver key? > key Dropped. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > drop cutters Dropped. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > drop watch Dropped. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > drop pass (first attempting to take the boarding pass) Taken. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. Dropped. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > look in backpack In the backpack you see a laser pointer, a black fedora, and a bag of gator nip. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. > drop pointer (first attempting to take the laser pointer) Taken. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. Dropped. > drop hat (first attempting to take the black fedora) Taken. Dropped. > n Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. Kevin runs in. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > in Gazebo You are standing under a circus tent roof in a charming small gazebo. The white paint has largely peeled away from the wooden railing and pillars. From here you can step out into the formal gardens. On the floor you see a pair of hedge clippers. Kevin clatters along behind you. > take clippers Taken. > out Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. > save Game state saved successfully. > score Your score is 160 points out of 300, in 349 moves, designating you a paranormal dilettante. The game is winnable from this point. > e Garden East This is the easternmost extent of the formal gardens. Weedy shrubs dot the landscape. A path leads further off to the east and west back towards the center of the gardens. An enormous topiary squirrel is here, angrily chittering and brandishing his thorny tail. Kevin enters the room. The squirrel seems to chatter angrily at you. > x squirrel It's a large woody bush in the shape of a squirrel. It was probably an adorable well-manicured topiary animal in the past but has since grown into a towering angry monster with massive wooden central incisors and a huge tail spiked with thorns. The topiary monster rustles it's branch arms at you menacingly. > * "it's" -> "its" > give clippers to kevin "That's boring. I'm bored." You could almost swear the squirrel seems to be drooling? > ask kevin about squirrel "Hey, wait. I speak topiary. I can reason with this guy." He walks over to the squirrel, who towers over him. You hear an odd conversation that sounds like the clicking of branches in the wind. After a moment, the topiary monster lets out a deep raucous laugh, turns away, and lumbers off into the trees. Kevin approaches again. "I told him you were going to get rid of the bad men and he agreed to let us by. He also wanted to know why your branches are so small and I told him you were a sapling." > * hah, wasn't sure how that would work but had a feeling he might be the answer > l Garden East This is the easternmost extent of the formal gardens. Weedy shrubs dot the landscape. A path leads further off to the east and west back towards the center of the gardens. Kevin is here. > e Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin tags along behind. > read sign It's sun-bleached and faded but you can just make out the lettering: "Don't Bother Mapping Me" > * hmm > s Midway Entrance This is the entrance to what appears to be a sort of midway that the zombies have cobbled together for their amusement. A sagging canvas sign is held up by two tall wooden poles and a wide dirt path leads south under the sign. A smaller dirt path leads to the north. Kevin clatters along behind you. > * hmm > x sign It's a sagging banner held up by two wooden poles. > read it "Amoozmnt Prk" > s Midway North This is the northern end of the ersatz midway. Here you see what appears to be a sort of "zombie-go-round". Several zombies are shuffling in a circle. As they move they crouch down and then stand as if they are bobbing up and down. They seem to be enjoying themselves and everyone is smiling. The dirt path continues south and you can return back to the midway entrance to the north. Kevin tags along behind. > x rond (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > x round Several zombies are shuffling in a circle. As they move they crouch down and then stand as if they are bobbing up and down. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > s Midway Center This is the midpoint of the midway. You can see zombie bumper cars taking place here. Several zombies are standing in and holding up garbage cans with the bottom knocked out. They are happily ramming into each other while they make motor noises with their mouths. The dirt path continues south or back to the north. Kevin enters the room. > x cars They're happily ramming into each other. > * cute little guys > s Midway End The midway ends here at the base of what looks like a Ferris wheel. It's maybe thirty feet in diameter, fashioned from scraps of metal and wood. Bare planks hang down from several places to serve as seats. The central axis of the wheel is supported on each side by ramshackle scaffolding. A large chain wraps around the central axis and extends downward to connect to what appears to be a large engine. The wheel is not turning at the moment. The path returns to the north. Midway Zombie is here standing at the base of the scaffolding He notices you standing there. He doesn't seem to care that you are a non-zombie interloper. He looks at you sadly and points upward at the immobile wheel. Kevin runs in. > x midway He's an unassuming gentleman wearing "office casual". He clearly hasn't seen an office in a while. He's looks crestfallen at the moment. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. > x engine It looks like it was purloined from a large truck or maybe a boat. > x chain Each link is about the size of a man's hand. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > turn on engine The engine can't be switched on. > pull chain You yank at the chain, but it won't budge. > l Midway End The midway ends here at the base of what looks like a Ferris wheel. It's maybe thirty feet in diameter, fashioned from scraps of metal and wood. Bare planks hang down from several places to serve as seats. The central axis of the wheel is supported on each side by ramshackle scaffolding. A large chain wraps around the central axis and extends downward to connect to what appears to be a large engine. The wheel is not turning at the moment. The path returns to the north. Kevin is here. Midway Zombie is standing here sadly looking up at the motionless Ferris wheel. > climb chain It's not possible to get onto the chain. > climb scaffold You clamber up into the scaffolding. In The Scaffolding You are roughly fifteen feet off the ground at the top of one side of the scaffolding. Here you would normally be face-to-face with the central hub of the wheel but a flap of metal blocks access to it. The wheel is not turning at the moment. > x flap It's a thick flat piece of metal that's jammed in place and is blocking access to the central hub of the wheel. > lift flap (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > pull flap You strain at the piece of metal. With some effort you are able to pull it partially out of the way. > g With one last sweaty yank, you are able to pull the flap clear of the hub. > x flap It's a thick flat piece of metal. It's been pulled away from the central hub. > take it You can't take the metal flap. > d Midway End The midway ends here at the base of what looks like a Ferris wheel. It's maybe thirty feet in diameter, fashioned from scraps of metal and wood. Bare planks hang down from several places to serve as seats. The central axis of the wheel is supported on each side by ramshackle scaffolding. A large chain wraps around the central axis and extends downward to connect to what appears to be a large engine. The wheel is not turning at the moment. The path returns to the north. Kevin is here. Midway Zombie is standing here sadly looking up at the motionless Ferris wheel. > pull chain (I only understood you as far as wanting to pull something.) > x chain (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > * hmm, is the chain not here anymore? > pull wheel You yank at the Ferris wheel, but it won't budge. > x engine (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > x wheel It's a makeshift wheel, maybe thirty feet in diameter, fashioned from scraps of metal and wood. Planks hang down from several places to serve as seats. The central axis of the wheel is supported on each side by ramshackle scaffolding. A large chain wraps around the central axis and extends down to turn around an axle that, in turn, is connected to what appears to be a scavenged truck engine. The wheel is not turning at the moment. > pull wheel You yank at the Ferris wheel, but it won't budge. > u You clamber up into the scaffolding. In The Scaffolding You are roughly fifteen feet off the ground at the top of one side of the scaffolding. You are looking at the central hub of the axle. The wheel is not turning at the moment. > u You can't go that way. > x hub It's a large cylinder resting in a notch. A large peg is seated in a hole in the cylinder. > x peg It's a thick metal peg, about the size of a soda can. It's protruding from the main shaft and catching on the scaffolding, preventing it from turning. > push peg You apply a bit of force to the peg, but it doesn't budge. > g You apply a bit of force to the peg, but it doesn't budge. > i You have a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > * hmm, not really picturing this > look in backpack In the backpack you see a bag of gator nip. > pull peg You yank at the peg, but it won't budge. > push peg You apply a bit of force to the peg, but it doesn't budge. > kick peg You consider attacking the peg, but reject the idea. > l In The Scaffolding You are roughly fifteen feet off the ground at the top of one side of the scaffolding. You are looking at the central hub of the axle. The wheel is not turning at the moment. > x axle It's a large cylinder resting in a notch. A large peg is seated in a hole in the cylinder. > x hole (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > x cylinder It's a large cylinder resting in a notch. A large peg is seated in a hole in the cylinder. > x peg It's a thick metal peg, about the size of a soda can. It's protruding from the main shaft and catching on the scaffolding, preventing it from turning. > pull scaffolding You yank at this location, but it won't budge. > d Midway End The midway ends here at the base of what looks like a Ferris wheel. It's maybe thirty feet in diameter, fashioned from scraps of metal and wood. Bare planks hang down from several places to serve as seats. The central axis of the wheel is supported on each side by ramshackle scaffolding. A large chain wraps around the central axis and extends downward to connect to what appears to be a large engine. The wheel is not turning at the moment. The path returns to the north. Kevin is here. Midway Zombie is standing here sadly looking up at the motionless Ferris wheel. > n Midway Center This is the midpoint of the midway. You can see zombie bumper cars taking place here. Several zombies are standing in and holding up garbage cans with the bottom knocked out. They are happily ramming into each other while they make motor noises with their mouths. The dirt path continues south or back to the north. Kevin tags along behind. > n Midway North This is the northern end of the ersatz midway. Here you see what appears to be a sort of "zombie-go-round". Several zombies are shuffling in a circle. As they move they crouch down and then stand as if they are bobbing up and down. They seem to be enjoying themselves and everyone is smiling. The dirt path continues south and you can return back to the midway entrance to the north. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > n Midway Entrance This is the entrance to what appears to be a sort of midway that the zombies have cobbled together for their amusement. A sagging canvas sign is held up by two tall wooden poles and a wide dirt path leads south under the sign. A smaller dirt path leads to the north. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > n Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin tags along behind. > save Game state saved successfully. > n "I'm not a fan of mazes, too many twisty passages, most if not all alike. I'll meet you after you're done getting lost." He skips off into the night. In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the west and north. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > s Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin skips up to you. "Are you done? Hey, did you know there's a hedge maze here?" > n "I'm not a fan of mazes, too many twisty passages, most if not all alike. I'll meet you after you're done getting lost." He skips off into the night. In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > s Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin skips up to you. "Are you done? Hey, did you know there's a hedge maze here?" > ask kevin about maze Did you want to ask Kevin about the hedge maze or the hedge maze? > hedge mae (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > ask kevin about hedge maze Did you want to ask Kevin about the hedge maze or the hedge maze? > * oops > n "I'm not a fan of mazes, too many twisty passages, most if not all alike. I'll meet you after you're done getting lost." He skips off into the night. In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the west and north. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, south, and east. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and west. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, south, and east. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and east. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north and west. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and east. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and east. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north and east. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, south, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and east. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and east. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, south, and west. > Come again? > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north and south. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and south. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and north. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and west. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > s Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin skips up to you. "Are you done? Hey, did you know there's a hedge maze here?" > * hmm > n "I'm not a fan of mazes, too many twisty passages, most if not all alike. I'll meet you after you're done getting lost." He skips off into the night. In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and north. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and south. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north and south. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and south. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and north. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and west. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the west and north. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, south, and east. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and east. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north and west. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north and east. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, south, and west. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north and south. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and south. Your breathing seems to be somewhat labored and you notice you are moaning slightly as you move. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and north. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the east and west. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > s Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin skips up to you. "Are you done? Hey, did you know there's a hedge maze here?" > * hmm feels like that's the full maze? > s Midway Entrance This is the entrance to what appears to be a sort of midway that the zombies have cobbled together for their amusement. A sagging canvas sign is held up by two tall wooden poles and a wide dirt path leads south under the sign. A smaller dirt path leads to the north. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > w You can't go that way. > s Midway North This is the northern end of the ersatz midway. Here you see what appears to be a sort of "zombie-go-round". Several zombies are shuffling in a circle. As they move they crouch down and then stand as if they are bobbing up and down. They seem to be enjoying themselves and everyone is smiling. The dirt path continues south and you can return back to the midway entrance to the north. Kevin clatters along behind you. > n Midway Entrance This is the entrance to what appears to be a sort of midway that the zombies have cobbled together for their amusement. A sagging canvas sign is held up by two tall wooden poles and a wide dirt path leads south under the sign. A smaller dirt path leads to the north. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > n Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin tags along behind. Kevin is here, intently listening to the sound his wooden hands make when he claps them together. > w Garden East This is the easternmost extent of the formal gardens. Weedy shrubs dot the landscape. A path leads further off to the east and west back towards the center of the gardens. Mechanic Zombie is to the west. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > w Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. Mechanic Zombie is here buttoning and un-buttoning one of the buttons of his overalls. Kevin clatters along behind you. > n Garden North This is the northern end of the formal gardens. A stone path leads south towards the center of the garden and a gazebo. A dirt path begins here and leads northwest down a gentle slope towards the lake. Mechanic Zombie is to the south. Kevin runs in. > nw Grotto This is a rocky outcropping looking out over the lake. It's been partially dynamited and the intent at some point was to turn this into a scenic grotto. Large slabs of stone surround you with the exception of the view to the north and a path leading upward to the southeast. Tucked up against the rocks you can see a bundle of dynamite. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > take dynamite Taken. Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. > save Game state saved successfully. > se Garden North This is the northern end of the formal gardens. A stone path leads south towards the center of the garden and a gazebo. A dirt path begins here and leads northwest down a gentle slope towards the lake. Mechanic Zombie is to the south. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. Kevin pipes up. "That mean doctor guy is a big scaredy cat when it comes to alligators." > * hmm > s Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. Mechanic Zombie is to the west. Kevin clatters along behind you. > w Path This is a stone path leading east toward the ornamental gardens and west towards the family cemetery. To the north a small wooden shack squats against the edge of the lake. Mechanic Zombie is here absent-mindedly humming what sounds like 'My Sharona.' Kevin enters the room. > w Cemetery South This is the south end of an extensive cemetery. Generations of descendants from the estate were buried here as well as countless townspeople from the surrounding region. Dozens of headstones, some intact, some cracked, and some lying on the ground, shine in the moonlight. You can hear laughter and muffled conversations on the night air and you can see numerous ghosts floating and darting among the rows. Some are dressed in fine suits and dresses, others in plain work clothes. Paths lead north, south, and east. Mechanic Zombie is to the east. Mascot Zombie is to the north. Mechanic Zombie shuffles in. Kevin runs in. > s Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > e Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. Kevin enters the room. > s You can't go that way. > sw West Of Mansion This is the western face of the mansion. A glassy enclosed atrium dominates this side of the house. A path here runs north and south and the stables lie to the west. Kevin tags along behind. > save Game state saved successfully. > s Western Front This is a spot in front of the mansion to the west of the front portico which lies to the east. You can walk around the house to the northwest. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > e Portico This is the entryway into the mansion. The stately portico surrounded by tall Grecian columns still retains a bit of its former panache. The front door to the north has been boarded shut. The front yard lies to the south and there is a path running east and west skirting the front of the house. Kevin runs in. > s Yard This is the center of what was once the carefully manicured front yard of the mansion. The grass is weedy and overgrown. Several once-decorative shrubs are still here but are only overgrown amorphous blobs at this point. The stone path weaves north through the weeds to the front portico of the house and south towards a road junction. Kevin tags along behind. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > s Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > sw Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. Kevin tags along behind. > nw Lake View This is the end of a narrow path through the swamp. It continues to the southeast and terminates here on a small wooden pier which juts westward out into the water. Across the water to the north you can just make out the dark hulk of a sprawling mansion in the distance. To the west you can just see the other side of the lake through the mist and moonlight. It's a peaceful spot, quiet except for the frogs and the quiet lapping of the water against the bank. Floating on the dark water to the west you see what looks like a wooden mallet. Kevin enters the room. > * hmm > * maybe the whistle? > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. > get mallet You are on the shore and the mallet is floating in the lake. > w Are you sure you want to enter the alligator-infested water? > y On The Lake You are standing on the surface of the lake. The shore lies to the east and the lake continues into darkness to the west. You see a wooden mallet bobbing on the surface. Suddenly, in the distance you hear splashing and what sounds like boiling water. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. Unfortunately, your splashing and kicking quickly attract a variety of underwater predators. Suddenly, you feel something nibbling at your feet followed by something much larger pulling you under. You do not resurface. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 160 out of a possible 300, in 498 moves. This designates you a paranormal dilettante. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (w). Lake View > * maybe not > i You have a bundle of dynamite, a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. Suddenly, the water before you starts to boil with activity and, to your horror, alligators of all sizes start to make their way onto the bank. Suddenly, there is a massive 'splash' and an alligator easily the length of a city bus pulls himself onto the shore. He sniffs the air for a moment then lumbers toward you, locked onto the gator nip you unwisely have on you. The last thing you see is the inside of a gaping toothy maw. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 160 out of a possible 300, in 496 moves. This designates you a paranormal dilettante. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (i). Lake View > e You can't go that way. Suddenly, the water before you starts to boil with activity and, to your horror, alligators of all sizes start to make their way onto the bank. Suddenly, there is a massive 'splash' and an alligator easily the length of a city bus pulls himself onto the shore. He sniffs the air for a moment then lumbers toward you, locked onto the gator nip you unwisely have on you. The last thing you see is the inside of a gaping toothy maw. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 160 out of a possible 300, in 496 moves. This designates you a paranormal dilettante. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (e). Lake View > se Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. Suddenly, in the distance you hear splashing and what sounds like boiling water. Kevin runs in. > drop nap (I only understood you as far as wanting to drop something.) > drop nip (first attempting to take the bag of gator nip) Taken. Dropped. Kevin is here, intently listening to the sound his wooden hands make when he claps them together. > * ah there's a delay > nw Lake View This is the end of a narrow path through the swamp. It continues to the southeast and terminates here on a small wooden pier which juts westward out into the water. Across the water to the north you can just make out the dark hulk of a sprawling mansion in the distance. To the west you can just see the other side of the lake through the mist and moonlight. It's a peaceful spot, quiet except for the frogs and the quiet lapping of the water against the bank. Floating on the dark water to the west you see what looks like a wooden mallet. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > w Are you sure you want to enter the alligator-infested water? > y On The Lake You are standing on the surface of the lake. The shore lies to the east and the lake continues into darkness to the west. You see a wooden mallet bobbing on the surface. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. Unfortunately, your splashing and kicking quickly attract a variety of underwater predators. Suddenly, you feel something nibbling at your feet followed by something much larger pulling you under. You do not resurface. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 160 out of a possible 300, in 502 moves. This designates you a paranormal dilettante. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (w). Lake View > give whistle to kevin "Ooh, that's really shiny. Can you play music on it?" Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > i You have a bundle of dynamite, a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. > * thought maybe he could play elsewhere? > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. > * maybe if I just don't have the nip > z Time passes. > z Time passes. Suddenly, the water before you seems to come alive with activity. Alligators of all sizes splash and roll in the foam. Your eyes widen as you see a black shape, just beneath the surface, cutting a wake towards you. The massive shadow approaches and lingers for a moment, then turns and disappears into the darkness. In another moment the water is still again. Kevin pipes up. "That mean doctor guy is a big scaredy cat when it comes to alligators." > w Are you sure you want to enter the alligator-infested water? > y On The Lake You are standing on the surface of the lake. The shore lies to the east and the lake continues into darkness to the west. You see a wooden mallet bobbing on the surface. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. Unfortunately, your splashing and kicking quickly attract a variety of underwater predators. Suddenly, you feel something nibbling at your feet followed by something much larger pulling you under. You do not resurface. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 160 out of a possible 300, in 507 moves. This designates you a paranormal dilettante. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (w). Lake View > * huh > * maybe that's just to beat the baddies > i You have a bundle of dynamite, a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > look in backpack The backpack is empty. > ask kevin about mallet Kevin looks out into the water and sees the mallet. "Hey, a hammer made of wood. I wonder if we're related." He plunges into the lake and bobs for a moment on the surface. He paddles out toward the mallet and, on reaching it, turns back and pushes it in front of him back to shore, depositing it onto the muddy bank. > * handy guy! > take mallet Taken. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > x it It's a wooden mallet. > e You can't go that way. > se Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. You see a bag of gator nip here. Kevin tags along behind. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > ne Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Kevin clatters along behind you. > n Yard This is the center of what was once the carefully manicured front yard of the mansion. The grass is weedy and overgrown. Several once-decorative shrubs are still here but are only overgrown amorphous blobs at this point. The stone path weaves north through the weeds to the front portico of the house and south towards a road junction. Kevin enters the room. > n Portico This is the entryway into the mansion. The stately portico surrounded by tall Grecian columns still retains a bit of its former panache. The front door to the north has been boarded shut. The front yard lies to the south and there is a path running east and west skirting the front of the house. Kevin clatters along behind you. > e Eastern Front This is a spot in front of the mansion to the east of the front entrance which lies to the west. You can walk around the house to the northeast. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > e You can't go that way. > n You can't go that way. > nw You can't go that way. Kevin is here polishing a scuff mark on his belly. > ne East Of Mansion This is the eastern side of the mansion which towers over you. You can walk around to the north and south. Built into the foundation here you see a pair of wooden cellar doors. Kevin enters the room. > n Behind House-East You're behind the eastern edge of the mansion which lies to the south. You can walk around the house to the southeast and a path continues west towards the back door. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > e You can't go that way. > n You can't go that way. > w Back Door This is the back door of the mansion, previously used exclusively by the staff. It's now emphatically boarded shut. You can continue east and west along the back of the house and north into the ornamental garden. There is a wooden trellis fixed to the side of the house here extending upward. You are here. You see a black fedora here. You see a laser pointer here. You see a boarding pass here. You see a pocket watch here. You see a pair of bolt cutters here. You see a silver key here. You see a skeleton key here. The remains of a trellis lie here in a dusty pile. Mechanic Zombie is to the north. Kevin tags along behind. > n Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. Mechanic Zombie is to the west. Kevin runs in. > e Garden East This is the easternmost extent of the formal gardens. Weedy shrubs dot the landscape. A path leads further off to the east and west back towards the center of the gardens. Kevin tags along behind. > e Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > e You can't go that way. > s Midway Entrance This is the entrance to what appears to be a sort of midway that the zombies have cobbled together for their amusement. A sagging canvas sign is held up by two tall wooden poles and a wide dirt path leads south under the sign. A smaller dirt path leads to the north. Kevin runs in. > s Midway North This is the northern end of the ersatz midway. Here you see what appears to be a sort of "zombie-go-round". Several zombies are shuffling in a circle. As they move they crouch down and then stand as if they are bobbing up and down. They seem to be enjoying themselves and everyone is smiling. The dirt path continues south and you can return back to the midway entrance to the north. Kevin tags along behind. > s Midway Center This is the midpoint of the midway. You can see zombie bumper cars taking place here. Several zombies are standing in and holding up garbage cans with the bottom knocked out. They are happily ramming into each other while they make motor noises with their mouths. The dirt path continues south or back to the north. Kevin clatters along behind you. > u You can't go that way. Kevin is here, humming 'Norwegian Wood'. > s Midway End The midway ends here at the base of what looks like a Ferris wheel. It's maybe thirty feet in diameter, fashioned from scraps of metal and wood. Bare planks hang down from several places to serve as seats. The central axis of the wheel is supported on each side by ramshackle scaffolding. A large chain wraps around the central axis and extends downward to connect to what appears to be a large engine. The wheel is not turning at the moment. The path returns to the north. Midway Zombie is standing here sadly looking up at the motionless Ferris wheel. Kevin tags along behind. > u You clamber up into the scaffolding. In The Scaffolding You are roughly fifteen feet off the ground at the top of one side of the scaffolding. You are looking at the central hub of the axle. The wheel is not turning at the moment. > hit peg with mallet You hammer the peg halfway into the shaft. > g You pound the peg flush with the shaft. The shaft, now free to rotate, groans and starts to slowly turn. You hear a squeal of delight from below. [Your score has gone up by 20 points.] > d Midway End The midway ends here at the base of what looks like a Ferris wheel. It's maybe thirty feet in diameter, fashioned from scraps of metal and wood. Bare planks hang down from several places to serve as seats. The central axis of the wheel is supported on each side by ramshackle scaffolding. A large chain wraps around the central axis and extends downward to connect to what appears to be a large engine. The wheel is slowly turning. The path returns to the north. Kevin is here. Midway Zombie is standing here Midway Zombie is looking up at the turning wheel and smiling. His yellow eyes are moist. He fumbles into a pants pocket, pulls something out, and puts it in your hand. "Pretty." He shuffles to the Ferris wheel and plops happily into one of the seats. Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > i You have a sea shell, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > x shell It's a small conch shell, perfectly formed. It's pure white on the outside and the shiny inside shimmers like a rainbow. > blow it You spit a bit into the conch but can't seem to make it sing. > * huh > save Game state saved successfully. > i You have a sea shell, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > * oh wait the hedge maze > w You can't go that way. > n Midway Center This is the midpoint of the midway. You can see zombie bumper cars taking place here. Several zombies are standing in and holding up garbage cans with the bottom knocked out. They are happily ramming into each other while they make motor noises with their mouths. The dirt path continues south or back to the north. Kevin enters the room. > n Midway North This is the northern end of the ersatz midway. Here you see what appears to be a sort of "zombie-go-round". Several zombies are shuffling in a circle. As they move they crouch down and then stand as if they are bobbing up and down. They seem to be enjoying themselves and everyone is smiling. The dirt path continues south and you can return back to the midway entrance to the north. Kevin tags along behind. > n Midway Entrance This is the entrance to what appears to be a sort of midway that the zombies have cobbled together for their amusement. A sagging canvas sign is held up by two tall wooden poles and a wide dirt path leads south under the sign. A smaller dirt path leads to the north. The green coloring to your skin is becoming more pronounced. Kevin clatters along behind you. > n Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin enters the room. > cut hedge (with the hedge trimmers) You consider cutting the hedge maze, but admirably decide against such useless destruction. > n "I'm not a fan of mazes, too many twisty passages, most if not all alike. I'll meet you after you're done getting lost." He skips off into the night. In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > cut hedge (with the hedge trimmers) You hack away at the hedge wall, bits of branches and leaves flying. Soon there's a passable opening in the wall. > l In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, north, east, and west. > n In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south and west. > cut hedge Did you want to cut the hedge to the south, the hedge to the east, or the hedge to the north? > east (with the hedge trimmers) You hack away at the hedge wall, bits of branches and leaves flying. Soon there's a passable opening in the wall. > e In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the north, south, east, and west. > w In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, east, and west. > cut hedge Did you want to cut the hedge to the south, the hedge to the east, or the hedge to the north? > north (with the hedge trimmers) You hack away at the hedge wall, bits of branches and leaves flying. Soon there's a passable opening in the wall. > n The hedges part and you enter into what appears to be the center of the maze. You are in the dead center of the hedge maze. There is a large boulder here. On the rock you see a skeleton mermaid basking in the moonlight. There are paths to the south. [Your score has gone up by 20 points.] > * oh not too bad! > x mermaid This is Velma. She's a skeleton from the waist up. She has long red hair and is wearing a bikini top made of kelp and shells and a sea-shell necklace around her neck. From the waist down, she's a mermaid with an irridescent green tail flapping nonchalantly on the rock. > x boulder It's a massive boulder. Lounging on the rock you see a skeleton mermaid basking in the moonlight. She idly flaps her tail and appears oblivious to you. > mermaid, hello She lets out a bored sigh. > i You have a sea shell, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > ask mermaid about herself She sniffs indignantly. "I don't know you well enough to divulge personal information." > tell mermaid about me "I don't know anything about that. Which means it's not worth knowing about." > tell mermaid about myself "I don't know anything about that. Which means it's not worth knowing about." > ask mermaid about doctor "I don't know anything about that. Which means it's not worth knowing about." > give shell to mermaid She seems quite surprised but happily accepts your gift. > ask mermaid about herself She sniffs indignantly. "I don't know you well enough to divulge personal information." > score Your score is 220 points out of 300, in 566 moves, designating you a class 'B' skulker. The game is *not* winnable from this point. > undo Undoing the last turn (score). In The Center Of The Hedge Maze > undo Undoing the last turn (ask mermaid about herself). In The Center Of The Hedge Maze > undo Undoing the last turn (give shell to mermaid). In The Center Of The Hedge Maze > score Your score is 220 points out of 300, in 564 moves, designating you a class 'B' skulker. The game is winnable from this point. > * hmm > show shell to mermaid For an instant, you see a flash of desire in her eyes which she quickly hides. "Yes, the shell is nice. I've seen nicer. I'd be willing to trade you for it." She waves her hands and there's a flash of light. She plucks what looks like a swim cap out of the air in front of her and holds it up. > x cap Except for the fact that it has a mouth and is smiling at you, it's a standard white rubber swimming cap. > ask her about cap Did you want to ask Velma about the deerstalker cap or the swim cap? > swim "It's enchanted, of course. As long as you're wearing it your pointy human legs will be able to walk on water. As soon as you leave the water,though, the magic ends." > * hmm, where's the deerstalker > * That's to get to the steamboat I guess > give shell to mermaid You give her the conch and she hands you the swim cap. The swim cap yells out, "Hey, dude! Are we going swimming?" [Your score has gone up by ten points.] > x cap Except for the fact that it has a mouth and is smiling at you, it's a standard white rubber swimming cap. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, north, east, and west. > save Game state saved successfully. > s In The Hedge Maze You are in the hedge maze. There are paths to the south, north, east, and west. > s Outside The Hedge Maze You are standing just outside of a large hedge maze. It's an impressive labyrinth made of tangled and thick English yews, 10 feet tall. The entrance is to the north and a faded sign is posted on the wall next to it. A path leads to the west and a dirt trace leads south. Kevin skips up to you. "Are you done? Hey, did you know there's a hedge maze here?" Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. > * are we ready for the final run? > i You have a swim cap, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a pair of hedge trimmers, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. Kevin is here, intently listening to the sound his wooden hands make when he claps them together. > dro pmallet (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > drop trimmers Dropped. > * So my offensive options are planting the nip on someone and blowing the whistle... > * And blowing them up with TNT > w Garden East This is the easternmost extent of the formal gardens. Weedy shrubs dot the landscape. A path leads further off to the east and west back towards the center of the gardens. Mechanic Zombie is to the west. Kevin clatters along behind you. > s You can't go that way. Mechanic Zombie is to the west. > w Garden Center This is the center of the garden. North-south and east-west crushed-stone paths meet here. There's a lovely gazebo here which you could step into. Mechanic Zombie is here, turning his cap from back to front and back again. Mechanic Zombie shuffles off to the east. Kevin runs in. > s Back Door This is the back door of the mansion, previously used exclusively by the staff. It's now emphatically boarded shut. You can continue east and west along the back of the house and north into the ornamental garden. There is a wooden trellis fixed to the side of the house here extending upward. You are here. You see a black fedora here. You see a laser pointer here. You see a boarding pass here. You see a pocket watch here. You see a pair of bolt cutters here. You see a silver key here. You see a skeleton key here. The remains of a trellis lie here in a dusty pile. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > * don't think I need anything else? > w Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. Kevin clatters along behind you. > w Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. Kevin tags along behind. > se You can't go that way. > e Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. Kevin enters the room. Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. > w Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. Kevin runs in. > Come again? > e Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. Kevin clatters along behind you. > se You can't go that way. > s You can't go that way. > w Outside Mausoleum From here a crushed-stone path leads north towards the cemetery. A second path leads east towards the rear of the mansion. The family crypt lies immediately to the west, the heavy iron door is partially open. Muscle Zombie is here guarding the door. Kevin tags along behind. > e Behind House-West A path here leads east to the back door of the mansion and west along a pathway of broken stones towards a squat stone building. Another path leads southwest around the corner of the house. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. Kevin pipes up. "That mean doctor guy is a big scaredy cat when it comes to alligators." > sw West Of Mansion This is the western face of the mansion. A glassy enclosed atrium dominates this side of the house. A path here runs north and south and the stables lie to the west. Kevin tags along behind. > s Western Front This is a spot in front of the mansion to the west of the front portico which lies to the east. You can walk around the house to the northwest. Kevin runs in. > * got a little turned around, oops! > e Portico This is the entryway into the mansion. The stately portico surrounded by tall Grecian columns still retains a bit of its former panache. The front door to the north has been boarded shut. The front yard lies to the south and there is a path running east and west skirting the front of the house. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > s Yard This is the center of what was once the carefully manicured front yard of the mansion. The grass is weedy and overgrown. Several once-decorative shrubs are still here but are only overgrown amorphous blobs at this point. The stone path weaves north through the weeds to the front portico of the house and south towards a road junction. Kevin enters the room. > Come again? > s Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > s You can't go that way. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > sw Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. You see a bag of gator nip here. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > ne Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Kevin tags along behind. > sw Lake Path This is a secluded path running through swampy underbrush. Thorns and weeds snag at your legs and spider webs catch in your hair. Surrounded by cypress trees, the path turns here and continues to the northeast and northwest. You see a bag of gator nip here. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > take nip Taken. > ne Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Kevin enters the room. > s You can't go that way. Kevin is here, humming 'Norwegian Wood'. > e Bridge This is the midpoint of a weathered covered bridge. Many of the floorboards are missing and, in places, you can see through to the river below. It's very dark in here but your eyes can sense slightly less darkness to the east and west. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > w Junction Two dirt roads meet here. The first starts here and leads east across the covered bridge. The other leads north towards the mansion that dominates the landscape as well as southeast towards the remains of the town and the river beyond it. In addition, you can make out a break in the trees to the southwest. Kevin clatters along behind you. > s You can't go that way. > se Corduroy Road This is the northern end of a corduroy road that continues south through town. Immediately to the east lies the local saloon and you can return to a road junction to the northwest. Kevin enters the room. > s Corduroy Road The road here runs north and south. A small wooden building lies to the west. A weathered sign over the door reads 'Taxidermy.' To the east a narrow muddy path leads through a dark clearing in the trees. Clown Zombie is to the south. Kevin runs in. > s Corduroy Road The road here turns and runs north and southeast. To the west lies the imposing hulk of the former bank, a still-substantial stone structure. Clown Zombie is here, picking debris from his purple wig. Doctor Zombie is to the southeast. Doctor Zombie shuffles in. Kevin tags along behind. > se River Road The road here turns northwest toward town or further off to the east. Low thorny vegetation prevents you from accessing the river directly but from here you can look out across the wide expanse of water glistening in the moonlight. The dark hulk of a steamboat lies offshore approximately fifty meters. Doctor Zombie is to the northwest. Clown Zombie is to the northwest. Kevin clatters along behind you. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > e Wharf This is a low wharf at the end of the road. Steamboats carrying tobacco and corn would have regularly moored here when this was a more prosperous area. A dilapidated road begins here and leads west. Offshore there is a steamboat anchored approximately fifty meters out in the river. You can step down from here onto a flat muddy patch of riverbank. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > d Riverbank The bank can be treacherous but this is a relatively flat and secure spot. The black water here laps at your feet. The steamboat is anchored directly to the south. From here you can step up back onto the wharf. Kevin enters the room. > save Game state saved successfully. > wear cap You squeeze your sweaty head into the elastic cap. As it snaps into place you feel a tingling all over and you suddenly feel somehow lighter than usual. The swim cap whoops excitedly, "Cowabunga, let's hit the water!" > s On The River You are standing on the surface of the river. The water is calm, like a black slab of marble. You can return to the riverbank to the north and a steamboat lies offshore to the south. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. > x boat It's a large hulking triple-deckered mass. The paddle wheel is motionless. Two smoke stacks tower above the bow. You can make out lights from the second deck superstructure. > x lights (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > s On The River You are standing on the surface of the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The shore lies to the north, the steamboat to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the southeast or southwest. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. > sw On The River You are standing on the surface of the river. You are directly forward of the steamboat. You can navigate around it to the northeast or southeast. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. > x boat It's a large hulking triple-deckered mass. The paddle wheel is motionless. Two smoke stacks tower above the bow. You can make out lights from the second deck superstructure. > se On The River You are standing on the surface of the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The steamboat lies to the north, the open river to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the northeast or northwest. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. > s You either can't or shouldn't walk that way. > ne On The River You are standing on the surface of the river. You are directly aft of the steamboat. You can navigate around it to the northwest or southwest. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. > w The stern of the steamboat is in the way. > u You either can't or shouldn't walk that way. > climb boat It's not possible to get onto the steamboat. You can't seem to pick your feet up as well and you are starting to shuffle as you walk. > nw On The River You are standing on the surface of the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The shore lies to the north, the steamboat to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the southeast or southwest. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. > climb boat It's not possible to get onto the steamboat. > s On The River You are standing on the surface of the river. You're directly next to the steamboat. There's a break in the railing to the south allowing access up to the deck. The shore lies to the north. Kevin paddles along behind you, bobbing on the surface. > u Kevin excitedly jumps up on the deck and shakes the water off. "Awesome, a boat! My aunt was a pontoon boat." Aft Starboard This is the aft section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue forward as well. There's a gap in the railing to the north where one could step down to the river's surface. As you step out of the dark water the swim cap starts to vibrate. "It's been real dude," the swim cap calls out. With a "puff" and a flash of light the cap disappears. Kevin runs in. [Your score has gone up by 20 points.] > f (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > forward (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you wanted to do.) > * ah well > s Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin enters the room. > x door It's a metal door with a thick metal handle. It's currently closed. > open it With some effort you turn the heavy handle and lean into the door, pushing it open. > e Boiler Room This is the ship's boiler room. Everything is blackened and grimy from years of soot. A hopelessly convoluted tangle of pipes and valves fills most available space and the thick iron boiler itself fills the eastern half of the room. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > * hmm this is probably where we want to blow things up... > save Game state saved successfully. > drop tnt (I only understood you as far as wanting to drop something.) > drop explosive (I only understood you as far as wanting to drop something.) > drop explosives (I only understood you as far as wanting to drop something.) > i You have a bag of gator nip, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > drop dynamite Dropped. > light it (with the lighter) You hold the flame to the fuse and it starts to hiss and sizzle as it burns toward the dynamite. > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin enters the room. > n Aft Starboard This is the aft section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue forward as well. There's a gap in the railing to the north where one could step down to the river's surface. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > n Are you sure you want to enter the alligator-infested river? > y On The River For a brief moment, you are treading water. You're directly next to the steamboat. There's a break in the railing to the south allowing access up to the deck. The shore lies to the north. Suddenly, there is a loud "boom" that you both hear echoing through the night air as well as feel through the ground. Unfortunately, the explosion unleashes a fusillade of wood, stone, and metal projectiles. Unluckily, several of these skewer you in various vital organs. *** you have died *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 641 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (n). Aft Starboard > undo Undoing the last turn (n). Main Deck Aft > undo Undoing the last turn (w). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (light it). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (drop dynamite). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (i). Boiler Room > * OK we need a better escape plan! > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. Kevin is here, intently listening to the sound his wooden hands make when he claps them together. > e Boiler Room This is the ship's boiler room. Everything is blackened and grimy from years of soot. A hopelessly convoluted tangle of pipes and valves fills most available space and the thick iron boiler itself fills the eastern half of the room. Kevin runs in. Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. > drop dynamite Dropped. > light it (with the lighter) You hold the flame to the fuse and it starts to hiss and sizzle as it burns toward the dynamite. > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin clatters along behind you. > close door You turn the heavy handle and pull the door closed. > n Aft Starboard This is the aft section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue forward as well. There's a gap in the railing to the north where one could step down to the river's surface. Suddenly, there is a loud "boom" that you both hear echoing through the night air as well as feel through the ground. Unfortunately, the explosion unleashes a fusillade of wood, stone, and metal projectiles. Unluckily, several of these skewer you in various vital organs. *** you have died *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 642 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (n). Main Deck Aft > undo Undoing the last turn (close door). Main Deck Aft > undo Undoing the last turn (w). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (light it). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (drop dynamite). Boiler Room > score Your score is 250 points out of 300, in 638 moves, designating you a budding action hero. The game is winnable from this point. > drop dynamite Dropped. > light it (with the lighter) You hold the flame to the fuse and it starts to hiss and sizzle as it burns toward the dynamite. > score Your score is 250 points out of 300, in 640 moves, designating you a budding action hero. The game is winnable from this point. > * LOL not sure that's actually the case, but this is a hard one to check I'd think! > undo Undoing the last turn (score). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (light it). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (drop dynamite). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (score). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (e). Main Deck Aft > undo Undoing the last turn (w). Boiler Room > i You have a bag of gator nip, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin clatters along behind you. > s Aft Port This is the aft section of the port deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue forward as well. Kevin enters the room. > w Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > x rowboat It's a small aluminum skiff, barely large enough for two or three passengers. A pair of oars are set into oarlocks on each side and a metal plank lying across the top serves as a seat. > * there's the escape route > n Main Deck Forward This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. The open deck continues to the east. Kevin enters the room. > n Forward Starboard This is the forward section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the southwest. Kevin tags along behind. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > sw Main Deck Stairs You are in the bow of the boat. Deckways start here and wrap around to the northeast and southeast and a large once-ornamental grand staircase starts here and leads upward, a reminder of the vessel's past history as a gambling boat. Kevin enters the room. Kevin is here doing the 'mashed potato'. > u Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin clatters along behind you. Kevin is here, humming 'Norwegian Wood'. > se Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. Kevin runs in. > n You can't go that way. > e Deck Two - Port Rear You are standing at the rear of the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead west toward the bow and there is a cabin door here to the north, currently closed. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > n (first attempting to open the cabin door to the north) You open the cabin door. East Cabin This cabin is fairly spartan. Two twin beds are pushed against one wall and a locked wardrobe occupies another. A door leads west to a small washroom and south back out to the port deck. Lafayette Gantry is lying on one of the beds, snoring loudly. Albrecht the teutonic henchman is sitting on one of the beds, slowly stropping a large serrated knife. As you enter, Albrecht glances up at you. Although, momentarily stunned at your unexpected appearance, reflexively he acts. With expert precision, he launches the knife across the room toward you. It spins rapidly end-over-end and with a sickening 'thunk' penetrates your sternum. You look down at it and then at Albrecht, who is now smiling. As your vision fades you have to admit to yourself that that was pretty cool. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 649 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (n). Deck Two - Port Rear > * eek > x door The cabin door is currently closed. > lock door The cabin door can't be locked. > open door You open the cabin door. > look through door Through the cabin door you see a cabin. > l Deck Two - Port Rear You are standing at the rear of the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead west toward the bow and there is a cabin door here to the north, currently open. Kevin is here. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > x cabin Through the cabin door you see the cabin. > close door You close the cabin door. > w Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. Kevin runs in. > w You can't go that way. > nw Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > ne Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. Kevin clatters along behind you. > s (first attempting to open the door to the south) You open the door. Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently closed. It sounds like someone may be in there. Hanging on the coat rack you see a smoking jacket. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. Someone is humming in the next room. > x jacket It's a Hefner-esque red velvet smoking jacket, with the initials 'U.R.' embroidered on the breast. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. Someone clears their throat from the room to the west. > put nip in jacket You put the bag of gator nip in the jacket pocket. You hear breathing from the washroom. > x screen It's a folding privacy screen about six feet long by six feet tall. It's ornamented with delicate Japanese caligraphy and a pastel garden scene. You hear the toilet flush next door. > x desk It's a large oaken desk, currently closed. You hear what sounds like someone washing their hands. > open it You open the desk, revealing some bundle of documents. Suddenly, the washroom door swings open. Ulysses Renfro enters from the west. He freezes, momentarily stunned to see you standing there but he quickly recovers. Taking hold of a charm hanging around one wrist, he gestures towards you. You suddenly find yourself frozen stiff and unable to move. "Albrecht! Get down here, now!" You hear hurried steps and heavy footfalls stomping downward from above and in a moment the tall muscular blond man runs into the room. "It seems we have an intruder," Renfro nods in your direction. "I think the alligators could use a snack." Albrecht smiles in agreement. He picks you up, stiff as a board, and carries you out to the rail. You are tossed overboard. The spell ends when you hit the water,but there is no spell to protect you from the various predators lurking in the black water. *** You have become fish food *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 666 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (open it). Master Cabin > undo Undoing the last turn (x desk). Master Cabin > undo Undoing the last turn (x screen). Master Cabin > open desk You open the desk, revealing some bundle of documents. Kevin is here doing the 'mashed potato'. You hear the toilet flush next door. > take documents Taken. Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. You hear what sounds like someone washing their hands. > read them They appear to outline a scheme to take over the world with zombies or something. Pretty derivative stuff, actually. Someone is humming in the next room. > n Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. Kevin tags along behind. > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > * hmm > e Deck Two - Starboard Rear The starboard deckway ends here at the stern. You can return forward to the west. Kevin runs in. > s You can't go that way. > sw You can't go that way. > w Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > w You can't go that way. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. > sw Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin tags along behind. > se Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > e Deck Two - Port Rear You are standing at the rear of the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead west toward the bow and there is a cabin door here to the north, currently closed. Kevin enters the room. > e You can't go that way. > w Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. Kevin clatters along behind you. > nw Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > u Deck Three Stairs You are standing on the top deck of the boat. You can look up at the moonlit starry sky and the black smokestacks towering high above you. From here the grand staircase falls away to the lower decks below. The deck continues to the east. Kevin runs in. > x stacks They're a pair of tall black stacks topped with ornamental crowns. Kevin pipes up. "That mean doctor guy is a big scaredy cat when it comes to alligators." > e Top Deck This is the top deck of the boat. The stairs lie to the west. A railing circumscribes the deck all around but you can look below to the black water far below. A large calliope and a bench are here, installed at the end of the deck. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > x calliope It appears to be the renovated, albeit original, calliope that first sailed with the steamboat. A large bank of gold and silver pipes circle and partially surround a wooden cabinet containing the keyboard. You can hear the quiet 'hiss' of air coming from somewhere within the tangle of pipes. Apparently, the instrument has been converted from steam to compressed air. > x bench It's a simple metal bench placed in front of the calliope, bolted to the floor and weather-resistant. > play calliope You noodle on the keys for a bit. Your improvised masterpiece blasts out across the river. Kevin is here doing the 'mashed potato'. > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > z Time passes. Kevin is here, humming 'Norwegian Wood'. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > l Top Deck This is the top deck of the boat. The stairs lie to the west. A railing circumscribes the deck all around but you can look below to the black water far below. A large calliope and a bench are here, installed at the end of the deck. Kevin is here. > score Your score is 250 points out of 300, in 664 moves, designating you a budding action hero. The game is winnable from this point. > d You can't go that way. > n You can't go that way. > w Deck Three Stairs You are standing on the top deck of the boat. You can look up at the moonlit starry sky and the black smokestacks towering high above you. From here the grand staircase falls away to the lower decks below. The deck continues to the east. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > i You have some bundle of documents, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > look in backpack The backpack is empty. > w You can't go that way. > d Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin enters the room. Kevin is here polishing a scuff mark on his belly. > d Main Deck Stairs You are in the bow of the boat. Deckways start here and wrap around to the northeast and southeast and a large once-ornamental grand staircase starts here and leads upward, a reminder of the vessel's past history as a gambling boat. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. Suddenly, your left pinky finger falls off. Luckily, you're right-handed. > s You can't go that way. > e You can't go that way. Suddenly, the water below you seems to come alive with activity. Alligators of all sizes splash and roll in the foam. Your eyes widen as you see a black shape, just beneath the surface, cutting a wake towards you. The massive shadow approaches and lingers for a moment, then turns and disappears into the darkness. In another moment the water is still again. > * gotta be on the lower level, OK > e You can't go that way. > e You can't go that way. > se Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > e Aft Port This is the aft section of the port deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue forward as well. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > e You can't go that way. > n Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin tags along behind. > e Boiler Room This is the ship's boiler room. Everything is blackened and grimy from years of soot. A hopelessly convoluted tangle of pipes and valves fills most available space and the thick iron boiler itself fills the eastern half of the room. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > x pipes It's a large iron boiler with a small but thick hatch in the side which is currently closed. Broken gauges cover the side and a tangle of pipes leads into and out of the top. > x boiler It's a large iron boiler with a small but thick hatch in the side which is currently closed. Broken gauges cover the side and a tangle of pipes leads into and out of the top. > * ah, the hatch! > open hatch You open the boiler. > look in boiler The boiler is empty. > put dynamite in boilder (I only understood you as far as wanting to put the bundle of dynamite in something.) > put dynamite in boiler You put the bundle of dynamite in the boiler. > light it (with the lighter) You hold the flame to the fuse and it starts to hiss and sizzle as it burns toward the dynamite. > close hatch You close the boiler. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin tags along behind. > w Main Deck Forward This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. The open deck continues to the east. You hear a muffled blast from the boiler as the dynamite goes off. You feel a shudder through the deck and a loud crack as if the backbone of the boat were ruptured. You hear rushing water and the boat immediately starts to flood. Kevin enters the room. > sw You can't go that way. > w You can't go that way. > s Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. Kevin runs in. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > d Are you sure you want to enter the alligator-infested river? > n Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. Kevin is here. > enter rowboat You gingerly step into the unstable little boat. Kevin excitedly clambers in next to you. "Yay, are we going on a ride?" Port Mooring (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. This is a spot abutting the forward port deck. A break in the railing to the north allows access to the deck above. Open water is to the south. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here beside the steamboat. Kevin is here. > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. Suddenly, the water immediately around you seems to come alive with activity. Alligators of all sizes splash and roll in the foam. Ominously, a large black shadow showly crosses under you, only to disappear again. After a moment, the activity dies down and the water is still again. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > Come again? > z Time passes. > x bat (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > x boat It's a small aluminum skiff, barely large enough for two or three passengers. A pair of oars are set into oarlocks on each side and a metal plank lying across the top serves as a seat. > score Your score is 250 points out of 300, in 664 moves, designating you a budding action hero. The game is winnable from this point. > e You either can't or shouldn't row that way. > w You either can't or shouldn't row that way. > nw You either can't or shouldn't row that way. > s With some inexpert splashing you row to the south. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The steamboat lies to the north, the open river to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the northeast or northwest. Kevin is here. > s You either can't or shouldn't row that way. > Come again? > nw You row, row, row your boat to the northwest. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You are directly forward of the steamboat. You can navigate around it to the northeast or southeast. Kevin is here. > ne You splash and bang your way to the northeast. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The shore lies to the north, the steamboat to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the southeast or southwest. Kevin is here. > s Aye, aye... On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You're directly next to the steamboat. There's a break in the railing to the south allowing access up to the deck. The shore lies to the north. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here next to the steamboat. Kevin is here. > u (first disembarking from the rowboat) Aft Starboard This is the aft section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue forward as well. There's a gap in the railing to the north where one could step down to the river's surface. A small rowboat is bobbing here next to the boat. Kevin enters the room. > e You can't go that way. > s Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin runs in. Kevin is here, examining the wood grain in his right hand. > e Boiler Room This is the ship's boiler room. Everything is blackened and grimy from years of soot. A hopelessly convoluted tangle of pipes and valves fills most available space and the thick iron boiler itself fills the eastern half of the room. The boiler is blown apart and water is gushing up from beneath the flooring. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > x boiler It's a large iron boiler with a small but thick hatch in the side which is currently closed. Broken gauges cover the side and a tangle of pipes leads into and out of the top. > x water (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > open hatch You open the boiler. > look in hatch The boiler is empty. > look in boiler The boiler is empty. > l Boiler Room This is the ship's boiler room. Everything is blackened and grimy from years of soot. A hopelessly convoluted tangle of pipes and valves fills most available space and the thick iron boiler itself fills the eastern half of the room. The boiler is blown apart and water is gushing up from beneath the flooring. Kevin is here. > * huh > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin enters the room. > w Main Deck Forward This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. The open deck continues to the east. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > u You can't go that way. > w You can't go that way. > u You can't go that way. > sw You can't go that way. > nw You can't go that way. > nw You can't go that way. > n Forward Starboard This is the forward section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the southwest. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. > w You can't go that way. > sw Main Deck Stairs You are in the bow of the boat. Deckways start here and wrap around to the northeast and southeast and a large once-ornamental grand staircase starts here and leads upward, a reminder of the vessel's past history as a gambling boat. Kevin tags along behind. > u Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin enters the room. > u Deck Three Stairs You are standing on the top deck of the boat. You can look up at the moonlit starry sky and the black smokestacks towering high above you. From here the grand staircase falls away to the lower decks below. The deck continues to the east where you see Ulysses Renfro with his back to you playing a large calliope. Albrecht is here. Albrecht is here and sees you. Grabbing you by the scruff, he carries you to the nearest deck and throws you into the river below. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 664 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (u). Deck Two Stairs > ne Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > e Deck Two - Starboard Rear The starboard deckway ends here at the stern. You can return forward to the west. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > s You can't go that way. > e You can't go that way. > w Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. Kevin is here polishing a scuff mark on his belly. > s Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently closed. Kevin clatters along behind you. > x bed It's a large water bed covered with a white fur bedspread. > look under bed You find nothing under the water bed. > search it You find nothing of interest. > cut it With what? > i You have some bundle of documents, a wooden mallet, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > cut it with shovel The shovel is too dull for that. > l Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently closed. Kevin is here. > x coset (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > oops closet It's a large open closet. Inside you see identical white shirts hanging on hangers. > search closet You find nothing of interest. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. > x shelves You see identical shelves filled with identical pairs of neatly-folded skinny jeans. > x artifacts It's a spicy gumbo of wooden carvings, etchings, paintings, and statues scattered around the room and occupying most flat surfaces. There's a definite voodoo or West African vibe going on. Kevin is here polishing a scuff mark on his belly. > search artifacts You find nothing of interest. > l Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently closed. Kevin is here. > x chair It's a standard office chair. > x rack It's a wooden coat rack with several upturned arms for hanging things. > x screen It's a folding privacy screen about six feet long by six feet tall. It's ornamented with delicate Japanese caligraphy and a pastel garden scene. > close screen The screen can't be closed. > w (first attempting to open the washroom door to the west) You open the washroom door. Washroom This is a small washroom with the usual amenities including a mirror hanging over a sink. A doorway leads back east. Kevin enters the room. > x mirror It's a standard bathroom mirror. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > open mirror The mirror doesn't open. > e Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently open. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. Kevin is here polishing a scuff mark on his belly. > w Washroom This is a small washroom with the usual amenities including a mirror hanging over a sink. A doorway leads back east. Kevin tags along behind. > look behind mirror You find nothing behind the mirror. > e Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently open. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > n Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. Kevin clatters along behind you. Kevin is here polishing a scuff mark on his belly. > w You can't go that way. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > s Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently open. Kevin runs in. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > n Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. Kevin clatters along behind you. > sw Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. "People turn green here and then they smell funny," Kevin volunteers. > se Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > e Deck Two - Port Rear You are standing at the rear of the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead west toward the bow and there is a cabin door here to the north, currently closed. Kevin tags along behind. > n (first attempting to open the cabin door to the north) You open the cabin door. East Cabin This cabin is fairly spartan. Two twin beds are pushed against one wall and a locked wardrobe occupies another. A door leads west to a small washroom and south back out to the port deck. As you enter, Albrecht glances up at you. Although, momentarily stunned at your unexpected appearance, reflexively he acts. With expert precision, he launches the knife across the room toward you. It spins rapidly end-over-end and with a sickening 'thunk' penetrates your sternum. You look down at it and then at Albrecht, who is now smiling. As your vision fades you have to admit to yourself that that was pretty cool. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 664 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (n). Deck Two - Port Rear > * I thought albrecht was upstairs now? > score Your score is 250 points out of 300, in 664 moves, designating you a budding action hero. The game is winnable from this point. > w Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > d You can't go that way. > w You can't go that way. > nw Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin tags along behind. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > d Main Deck Stairs You are in the bow of the boat. Deckways start here and wrap around to the northeast and southeast and a large once-ornamental grand staircase starts here and leads upward, a reminder of the vessel's past history as a gambling boat. Kevin clatters along behind you. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > e You can't go that way. > e You can't go that way. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > se Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here. Kevin runs in. > e Aft Port This is the aft section of the port deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue forward as well. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. Kevin pipes up. "That mean doctor guy is a big scaredy cat when it comes to alligators." > e You can't go that way. > n Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin tags along behind. Kevin is here, playing bongos on his abdomen. > e Boiler Room This is the ship's boiler room. Everything is blackened and grimy from years of soot. A hopelessly convoluted tangle of pipes and valves fills most available space and the thick iron boiler itself fills the eastern half of the room. The boiler is blown apart and water is gushing up from beneath the flooring. Kevin runs in. > x water (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin clatters along behind you. Kevin is here, seeing how many times he can spin around without falling over. > n Aft Starboard This is the aft section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue forward as well. There's a gap in the railing to the north where one could step down to the river's surface. A small rowboat is bobbing here next to the boat. Kevin tags along behind. > n Are you sure you want to enter the alligator-infested river? > n Aft Starboard This is the aft section of the starboard deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the south and you can continue forward as well. There's a gap in the railing to the north where one could step down to the river's surface. A small rowboat is bobbing here next to the boat. Kevin is here. > enter rowboat You gingerly step into the unstable little boat. Kevin excitedly clambers in next to you. "Yay, are we going on a ride?" On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You're directly next to the steamboat. There's a break in the railing to the south allowing access up to the deck. The shore lies to the north. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here next to the steamboat. Kevin is here. > x ship (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > x steamship (I only understood you as far as wanting to examine something.) > l On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You're directly next to the steamboat. There's a break in the railing to the south allowing access up to the deck. The shore lies to the north. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here next to the steamboat. Kevin is here. > x steamboat It's a large hulking triple-deckered mass. The paddle wheel is motionless. Two smoke stacks tower above the bow. You can make out lights from the second deck superstructure. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > x wheel It's a large hulking triple-deckered mass. The paddle wheel is motionless. Two smoke stacks tower above the bow. You can make out lights from the second deck superstructure. > se You either can't or shouldn't row that way. > e You either can't or shouldn't row that way. > n With some inexpert splashing you row to the north. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The shore lies to the north, the steamboat to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the southeast or southwest. Kevin is here. > s You row, row, row your boat to the south. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You're directly next to the steamboat. There's a break in the railing to the south allowing access up to the deck. The shore lies to the north. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here next to the steamboat. Kevin is here. > sw You either can't or shouldn't row that way. > n You splash and bang your way to the north. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The shore lies to the north, the steamboat to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the southeast or southwest. Kevin is here. > sw Aye, aye... On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You are directly forward of the steamboat. You can navigate around it to the northeast or southeast. Kevin is here. > se With some inexpert splashing you row to the southeast. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The steamboat lies to the north, the open river to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the northeast or northwest. Kevin is here. > ne You row, row, row your boat to the northeast. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You are directly aft of the steamboat. You can navigate around it to the northwest or southwest. Kevin is here. > x steamboat It's a large hulking triple-deckered mass. The paddle wheel is motionless. Two smoke stacks tower above the bow. You can make out lights from the second deck superstructure. > l On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You are directly aft of the steamboat. You can navigate around it to the northwest or southwest. Kevin is here. > nw You splash and bang your way to the northwest. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The shore lies to the north, the steamboat to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the southeast or southwest. Kevin is here. > s Aye, aye... On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You're directly next to the steamboat. There's a break in the railing to the south allowing access up to the deck. The shore lies to the north. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here next to the steamboat. Kevin is here. > n With some inexpert splashing you row to the north. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The shore lies to the north, the steamboat to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the southeast or southwest. Kevin is here. > sw You row, row, row your boat to the southwest. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You are directly forward of the steamboat. You can navigate around it to the northeast or southeast. Kevin is here. > se You splash and bang your way to the southeast. On The River (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. You hear the gentle lapping of the water and an occasional splash of a fish jumping. The steamboat lies to the north, the open river to the south, and you can navigate around the steamboat to the northeast or northwest. Kevin is here. > n Aye, aye... Port Mooring (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. This is a spot abutting the forward port deck. A break in the railing to the north allows access to the deck above. Open water is to the south. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here beside the steamboat. Kevin is here. > u (first disembarking from the rowboat) Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. Kevin enters the room. Kevin is here, closely examining the wood grain of his hands. > * OK I looked at hints -- does this not work if I don't hide behind the screen, maybe? > l Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. Kevin is here. > restore Game state restored successfully. Boiler Room > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > i You have a bag of gator nip, a wooden mallet, a bundle of dynamite, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. > w Main Deck Forward This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. The open deck continues to the east. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > w You can't go that way. > nw You can't go that way. > s Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. Kevin clatters along behind you. > nw Main Deck Stairs You are in the bow of the boat. Deckways start here and wrap around to the northeast and southeast and a large once-ornamental grand staircase starts here and leads upward, a reminder of the vessel's past history as a gambling boat. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > u Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin runs in. > ne Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. Kevin tags along behind. > e Deck Two - Starboard Rear The starboard deckway ends here at the stern. You can return forward to the west. Kevin clatters along behind you. > s You can't go that way. > w Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > s (first attempting to open the door to the south) You open the door. Master Cabin The word that comes to mind is "eclectic." This is a spacious cabin taking up most of the forward superstructure of this level. A large water bed is positioned against one wall, another is entirely taken up with open shelves and a closet of clothes. Voodoo artifacts and pieces of artwork are scattered about. A large oak desk and office chair are located in the corner. A wooden coat rack sits next to the door. In another corner sits a privacy screen made up of accordioned panels about six feet tall. The exit is through the door to the north and a door to a washroom to the west is currently closed. It sounds like someone may be in there. Hanging on the coat rack you see a smoking jacket. Kevin clatters along behind you. Someone is humming in the next room. > put nip in jacket You put the bag of gator nip in the jacket pocket. Someone clears their throat from the room to the west. > hide behind screen You duck behind the screen. In a panic you suddenly remember Kevin. You peek around the screen to see him standing frozen against the wall among the other voodoo artifacts. Luckily, he's quite good at imitating a statue. You hear breathing from the washroom. > z Time passes. You hear the toilet flush next door. > z Time passes. You hear what sounds like someone washing their hands. > z Time passes. Suddenly, the washroom door swings open. Ulysses Renfro enters from the west. He walks over to the coat rack, takes the objectively ugly smoking jacket and puts it on. He quickly ducks out the cabin door. > n Deck Two - Starboard Forward You are standing on the starboard side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and southwest toward the bow. A cabin door is to the south. Kevin tags along behind. > w You can't go that way. > sw Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin clatters along behind you. > u Deck Three Stairs You are standing on the top deck of the boat. You can look up at the moonlit starry sky and the black smokestacks towering high above you. From here the grand staircase falls away to the lower decks below. The deck continues to the east where you see Ulysses Renfro with his back to you playing a large calliope. Ulysses Renfro is to the east. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > e Top Deck This is the top deck of the boat. The stairs lie to the west. A railing circumscribes the deck all around but you can look below to the black water far below. A large calliope and a bench are here, installed at the end of the deck. Ulysses Renfro is here, his crazy eyes gleaming. He lays eyes on you and freezes, momentarily stunned to see you standing here. But he quickly recovers. Taking hold of a charm hanging around one wrist, he gestures towards you. You suddenly find yourself frozen stiff and unable to move. "Albrecht! Get down here, now!" You hear hurried steps and heavy footfalls stomping downward from above and in a moment the tall muscular blond man runs into the room. "It seems we have an intruder," Renfro nods in your direction. "I think the alligators could use a snack." Albrecht smiles in agreement. He picks you up, stiff as a board, and carries you out to the rail. You are tossed overboard. The spell ends when you hit the water,but there is no spell to protect you from the various predators lurking in the black water. *** You have become fish food *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 660 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (e). Deck Three Stairs > d Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin runs in. > se Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. The wooden statue runs after you on his round legs. > e Deck Two - Port Rear You are standing at the rear of the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead west toward the bow and there is a cabin door here to the north, currently closed. "Slow down, my legs are shorter than yours," Kevin calls out behind you. > n (first attempting to open the cabin door to the north) You open the cabin door. East Cabin This cabin is fairly spartan. Two twin beds are pushed against one wall and a locked wardrobe occupies another. A door leads west to a small washroom and south back out to the port deck. Lafayette Gantry is lying on one of the beds, snoring loudly. Albrecht the teutonic henchman is sitting on one of the beds, slowly stropping a large serrated knife. As you enter, Albrecht glances up at you. Although, momentarily stunned at your unexpected appearance, reflexively he acts. With expert precision, he launches the knife across the room toward you. It spins rapidly end-over-end and with a sickening 'thunk' penetrates your sternum. You look down at it and then at Albrecht, who is now smiling. As your vision fades you have to admit to yourself that that was pretty cool. *** You have died *** Game over. Your score is 250 out of a possible 300, in 663 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (n). Deck Two - Port Rear > w Deck Two - Port Forward You are standing on the port side of the upper deck. Walkways lead east towards the rear and northwest toward the bow. Kevin tags along behind. > nw Deck Two Stairs This is the forward-most point of the second deck. Deckways lead northeast and southeast. The grand staircase continues upward to the top deck and down to the main deck below. Kevin runs in. > d Main Deck Stairs You are in the bow of the boat. Deckways start here and wrap around to the northeast and southeast and a large once-ornamental grand staircase starts here and leads upward, a reminder of the vessel's past history as a gambling boat. Kevin enters the room. > e You can't go that way. > se Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. Kevin tags along behind. > e Aft Port This is the aft section of the port deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue forward as well. Kevin enters the room. > e You can't go that way. > n Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. Kevin runs in. > e Boiler Room This is the ship's boiler room. Everything is blackened and grimy from years of soot. A hopelessly convoluted tangle of pipes and valves fills most available space and the thick iron boiler itself fills the eastern half of the room. Kevin enters the room. Kevin is here, humming 'Norwegian Wood'. > open boiler You open the boiler. > put dynamite in boiler You put the bundle of dynamite in the boiler. Kevin pipes up. "That mean doctor guy is a big scaredy cat when it comes to alligators." > light it (with the lighter) You hold the flame to the fuse and it starts to hiss and sizzle as it burns toward the dynamite. > close hatch You close the boiler. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. You hear a muffled blast from the boiler as the dynamite goes off. The black iron container is partially blown out by the blast but, apparently, the thick iron vessel contains the explosion enought to focus it downward into the boat itself. With a groan the decking partially collapses and water starts to rapidly fill the compartment. > z Time passes. You can feel the boat listing slightly as it sinks. > undo Undoing the last turn (z). Boiler Room > undo Undoing the last turn (z). Boiler Room > z Time passes. You hear a muffled blast from the boiler as the dynamite goes off. The black iron container is partially blown out by the blast but, apparently, the thick iron vessel contains the explosion enought to focus it downward into the boat itself. With a groan the decking partially collapses and water starts to rapidly fill the compartment. > undo Undoing the last turn (z). Boiler Room > w Main Deck Aft This is the main lower level deck. It occupies most of the middle of the boat and is widely open, intended to allow as much space for cargo as possible. You can proceed north or south to the starboard or port sides, respectively. A large watertight door is to the east and the open deck continues to the west. You hear a muffled blast from the boiler as the dynamite goes off. You feel a shudder through the deck and a loud crack as if the backbone of the boat were ruptured. You hear rushing water and the boat immediately starts to flood. Kevin tags along behind. > z Time passes. You can feel the boat listing slightly as it sinks. > z Time passes. The cold water rushes in and washes around your knees. > undo Undoing the last turn (z). Main Deck Aft > undo Undoing the last turn (z). Main Deck Aft > * huh, that was odd? > s Aft Port This is the aft section of the port deck of the boat. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue forward as well. You can feel the boat listing slightly as it sinks. Kevin enters the room. > w Forward Port This is the forward section of the port deck. The open main deck lies to the north and you can continue rearward as well. The deck continues forward, curving to the northwest. There is a gap in the railing here and a small rowboat is here bobbing gently. The cold water rushes in and washes around your knees. Kevin tags along behind. > enter rowboat You gingerly step into the unstable little boat. Kevin excitedly clambers in next to you. "Yay, are we going on a ride?" Port Mooring (in the rowboat) You are in a rowboat bobbing gently on the river. This is a spot abutting the forward port deck. A break in the railing to the north allows access to the deck above. Open water is to the south. A small aluminum rowboat is docked here beside the steamboat. Kevin is here. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. > z Time passes. With a deep 'thud' that you feel rather than hear, the steamboat settles to the river bottom, sending out concentric waves that spins you around and nearly capsizes your small rowboat, tearing off the port oarlock in the process and sending one of your oars into the depths. On The River (Near the Top Deck) (in the rowboat) You are sitting in a rowboat bobbing on the river. The riverbank is off to the north. The remains of the foundered steamboat are here. The smoke stacks have collapsed and disappeared into the water and all that remains is the top-deck. It's now at water level, a rectangular slab poking a few inches out of the river. Ulysses Renfro, Lafayette Gantry, and Albrecht are standing on the deck. > blow swistle (I only understood you as far as wanting to blow something.) > blow whistle You blow but don't hear anything. Renfro fires at you. The shot echoes across the river. Luckily his aim is poor. > z Time passes. Renfro fires at you again. You hear a loud harsh 'ping' and a bullet hole appears in the side of the boat next to you. > z Time passes. Suddenly, dozens of small alligators crawl up onto the top deck. Horrified, Renfro and his henchman frantically kick at them, sending them, for the moment, back into the water. Then, you see it. A dark shadow crossing under your rowboat headed towards the deck poking out of the water. Seconds later, a geyser of water erupts at one end of the deck. Out of the water, a massive alligator appears, a third as long as the steamboat itself. You can see several teeth protruding from his mouth, each one the size of a steak. He pulls himself fully onto the deck and sniffs at the air. Apparently locating what he's looking for, he turns toward Renfro and the gator nip hidden in his pocket. He starts to lumber toward him, picking up speed with every step. Renfro screams and Albrecht fires indiscriminately at the beast with the pistol but the shots have no effect. Tiny is now a massive scaly missile, toothy maw wide open. At the last second, Renfro grabs Albrecht and Gantry on either side of him, pushing them in front of him in a vain effort to shield himself. Tiny piles into the trio and all four of them tumble over the side of the deck into the water. The river foams with activity for a moment. Then, you hear a loud 'burp' and a large column of bubbles rises to the surface. Finally, you see the black wedge under the water head out into the river and disappear. (press any key) Epilogue: As expected, the end of Ulysses Renfro also led to the end of all of his magical malfeasance. You immediately started to feel better and your greenish hue quickly faded. The former zombies in town all came to their senses, blinked up at the stars, and wondered where they were and why they apparently hadn't had a shower in days. Eventually, they put the pieces together; Doyle and the other locals clued them in to your existence and your accomplishment and, eventually, Kevin paddled out and pushed your disabled rowboat back to shore. There were many exuberant thanks as you were escorted back to town. You decided to keep Dimbulb manor in the family. The paranormal family, that is. As it turns out, the local ghosts and skeletons have quite a bit of disposable income (compounded interest and all) and very little to spend it on. You were happy to turn over the deed to the mansion to the locals and they were happy to reward you generously for it. You returned home with only one souvenir-a living wooden statue who really wants a tattoo and who keeps nagging you about getting a driver's license. *** You have won! *** Game over. Your score is 290 out of a possible 300, in 685 moves. This designates you a budding action hero. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > full score Please type one of the given words. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > full Your score breakdown is: 10 points for finding the brown fedora. 10 points for stealing (borrowing) the coins. 10 points for finding the spirit goggles. 10 points for nipping the gator nip. 10 points for digging up the whistle. 10 points for obtaining the brooch. 10 points for fishing the mallet out of the lake. 10 points for being gifted the conch shell. 10 points for getting the swim cap. 10 points for poaching the skeleton key to the mausoleum. 10 points for getting the key to the cell. 20 points for getting into the mansion. 20 points for opening the hidden room behind the bookcase. 20 points for riding the dumbwaiter all the way down. 20 points for fixing the Ferris wheel. 20 points for making it onto the steamboat. 40 points for feeding the bad guys to Tiny. 20 points for bringing Kevin to life. 20 points for hacking your way into the center of the hedge maze. Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, see the FULL breakdown of your score, QUIT the program, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (z). On The River (Near the Top Deck) (in the rowboat) > undo Undoing the last turn (z). On The River (Near the Top Deck) (in the rowboat) > undo Undoing the last turn (blow whistle). On The River (Near the Top Deck) (in the rowboat) > undo Undoing the last turn (blow swistle). On The River (Near the Top Deck) (in the rowboat) > undo Undoing the last turn (z). Port Mooring (in the rowboat) > * oh did I forget to actually get the deed? Oops! > i You have a wooden mallet, a whistle, a lighter, a shovel, and a flashlight. You're wearing a pair of work gloves, some goggles, and a backpack. With a deep 'thud' that you feel rather than hear, the steamboat settles to the river bottom, sending out concentric waves that spins you around and nearly capsizes your small rowboat, tearing off the port oarlock in the process and sending one of your oars into the depths. On The River (Near the Top Deck) (in the rowboat) You are sitting in a rowboat bobbing on the river. The riverbank is off to the north. The remains of the foundered steamboat are here. The smoke stacks have collapsed and disappeared into the water and all that remains is the top-deck. It's now at water level, a rectangular slab poking a few inches out of the river. Ulysses Renfro, Lafayette Gantry, and Albrecht are standing on the deck. >