Ben Franklin's Synonyms for "Drunk"

I found this video of “Ben Franklin” listing 220 synonyms for “drunk.” I think you’ll enjoy. I know I did. Can we can come up with more than 220 IF synonyms for drunk?

Here are some I thought up…

  1. “… > DROPPED ALL…”
  2. “… lost his compass.”
  3. “… been eaten by the hoppy grue.”
  4. “… [his] lamp has run out.”
  5. “… speaking with the Gostak.”
  6. “… stuck at a yes/no prompt.”
  7. “… can’t find his own inventory.”
  8. “… going south when he types north.”
  9. “… an amnesiac!”
  10. “… including every extension.”
  11. “… playing Acid Whiplash.”
  12. “… as drunk as Progue.”
  13. “… prolific.”
  14. “… drinking his Rybread.”
  15. “… going plugh.”
  16. “… doesn’t understand what you mean.”
  17. “… down to a two-word parser.”
  18. “… doesn’t know his commands.”
  19. “… making up feelies.”
  20. “… halfway to a blue chair.”
  21. “… experimental.”
  22. “… beta-testing the barley.”
  23. “… ADRIFT.”
  24. “… in an unwinnable state.”
  25. “… a juicy description.”

[nitpicking git] “Synonym” is probably not the word we’re looking for. [/nitpicking git]

“railroaded.”
“vorpling clams.”
“completely mimetic.”
“running a homebrew platform.”
“channeling Bruces.”
“in Pierre’s maze.”
“thirst-managing.”
“earning the Banana.”
“modeling liquids.”
“reporting AAS bugs.”
“has uneven pacing.”

“His brain is in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.”

Ben Franklin was a cool guy. I was always somewhat partial to his essay exhorting the reader to “Fart Proudly!”

Robert Rothman

If I’m drunk then I’m…

“…carrying three bucks and a quarter”
“…tipped out”
“…improvising Undumly”
“…stuck in Santaland”
“…pataphorical”
“…asking the devil about the inn”
“…missing a beet”
“…back on the ment”
“…among the figs”
“…in the realms of realmland”
“…blooming my engine”
“…activating commentary mode”
“…choosing the rat”
“…abandoned.a3c”
“…away with the piskeys”
“…a TAD It”
“…pushing the cliff”
“…block quoted”
“…hitting the piglet”
“…blissed out”
“…faintly achy”
“…shiny and posh”
“…a TAD Blind”
“…Myothian”
“…meta-puzzling”
“…stretching my eyeballs”
“…cursing the cubs”
“…pretty ASCII”
“…Whyld!”
“…looking for the Wizards’ Nightclub”
“…mightily dreading awaking”
“…aboard the ship of whimsy”
“…Agent Bravo”
“…Amphibius Maximus”
“…zombified”
“…a TAD foggy”
“…lustering”
“…taking the tombstone”

“halting in abject failure”

Channeling Bruces?

I have no idea what you’re saying, sir. None whatsoever.

Peter, yes, I suppose we are looking for euphemisms rather than synonyms.

HAHA! These are great. I think my favorites are some of Sam’s, though… especially the double-entendre of “running a homebrew platform.”

Franklin was a cool guy, yeah. Also a vegetarian!

Joey, ha… sounds like you might have done a lot of drinking during last year’s IFComp?

Ooh, how about…

“… licking the moon?”

… dang it, now everything I hear sounds like a “drunk” euphemism…

“prioritising accessibility”,
“counting leaves”,
“humping the wuntus”,
“passing senses”,
“exceeding memory limits”,
“applying to nothing”,
“combinatorial”,
“Flatheaded”,
“in his doshes”,
“reverse-linked to Jack”,

…actually, if you play with euphemisms for long enough, they all end up heading in the direction of sex, masturbation or vomiting. I don’t really want to know what ‘caging the plover’ might involve.

Wasn’t vegetarianism just one of Franklin’s many phases? Like, one of his very youthful ones when he was all intense and serious and worryingly skinny? (In other news, I ever come into possession of a hogshead I’m totally making his spruce beer recipe.)

  • I’m sorry sir, but I fear the little bird is scared by your iron rod.
  • Well, that’s peculiar - it has a reputation for going after any snake it might encounter.

Anyone for a Freudian speed-if? :slight_smile: