A Castle of Thread (a postmortem of sorts)

I just wanted to share this. No reviewer or anyone mentioned noticing this so I thought I would share this now that the comp’s voting is done.

I’m most proud of the sadiki birds in my game. I coded them in such a way that no two players receive the same insults twice from the birds. In fact, no two game traversals would generate the same insults. (Ok, I think maybe there is a minuscule chance of it happening, but it would be very rare.)

I used a chart purporting to be Shakespearean insults so I wouldn’t have to invent my own. Had I done that, the game probably would be more adult than pg-13.

Anyway, here’s the code involving the insults.

[rant][code]every turn: [during City Encounters:]
if player can see periwinkle sadiki bird:
if Venkath Mock can see periwinkle sadiki bird:
if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
say “The periwinkle sadiki bird looks at you and says, ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.”;
otherwise:
if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
say “The periwinkle sadiki bird looks at you and says, ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.”;
otherwise:
if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
say “The periwinkle sadiki bird looks at you and says, ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.”

every turn: [during City Encounters:]
if player can see lavender sadiki bird:
if Venkath Mock can see lavender sadiki bird:
if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
say “The lavender sadiki bird looks at you and says, ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.”;
otherwise:
if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
say “The lavender sadiki bird looks at Venkath Mock and says, ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.”;
otherwise:
if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
say “The lavender sadiki bird looks at you and says, ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.”

instead of saying hello to the periwinkle sadiki bird:
say “You attempt to speak sensibly to the bird, but all you get in return is ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.”

instead of saying hello to the lavender sadiki bird:
say “You attempt to speak sensibly to the bird, but all you get in return is ‘[one of]You’re just some [or]Oh, look at the [or]I smell some sort of [or]Wonderful. It’s another [at random][one of]artless[or]bawdy[or]beslubbering[or]bootless[or]churlish[or]cockered[or]clouted[or]craven[or]currish[or]dankish[or]dissembling[or]droning[or]errant[or]fawning[or]fobbing[or]froward[or]frothy[or]gleeking[or]goatish[or]gorbellied[or]impertinent[or]infectious[or]jarring[or]loggerheaded[or]lumpish[or]mammering[or]mangled[or]mewling[or]paunchy[or]pribbling[or]puking[or]puny[or]qualling[or]rank[or]reeky[or]roguish[or]ruttish[or]saucy[or]spleeny[or]spongy[or]surly[or]tottering[or]unmuzzled[or]vain[or]venomed[or]villainous[or]warped[or]yeasty[or]weedy[or]wayward[at random], [one of]base-court[or]bat-fowling[or]beef-witted[or]beetle-headed[or]boil-brained[or]clapper-clawed[or]clay-brained[or]common-kissing[or]crook-pated[or]dismal-dreaming[or]dizzy-eyed[or]doghearted[or]dread-bolted[or]earth-vexing[or]elf-skinned[or]fat-kidneyed[or]fen-sucked[or]flap-mouthed[or]fly-bitten[or]folly-fallen[or]fool-born[or]full-gorged[or]guts-griping[or]half-faced[or]hasty-witted[or]hedge-born[or]hell-hated[or]idle-headed[or]ill-breeding[or]ill-nurtured[or]knotty-pated[or]milk-livered[or]motley-minded[or]onion-eyed[or]plume-plucked[or]pottle-deep[or]pox-marked[or]reeling-ripe[or]rough-hewn[or]rude-growing[or]rump-fed[or]shard-borne[or]sheep-biting[or]spur-galled[or]swag-bellied[or]tardy-gaited[or]tickle-brained[or]toad-spotted[or]unchin-bitten[or]weather-snouted[at random] [one of]apple-john[or]baggage[or]barnacle[or]bladder[or]boar-pig[or]bugbear[or]bum-bailey[or]canker-blossom[or]clack-dish[or]clotpole[or]coxcomb[or]codpiece[or]death-token[or]dewberry[or]flap-dragon[or]flax-wench[or]flirt-gill[or]foot-licker[or]fustilarian[or]giglet[or]gudgeon[or]haggard[or]harpy[or]hedge-pig[or]horn-beast[or]hugger-mugger[or]joithead[or]lewdster[or]lout[or]maggot-pie[or]malt-worm[or]mammet[or]measle[or]minnow[or]miscreant[or]moldwarp[or]mumble-news[or]nut-hook[or]pigeon-egg[or]pignut[or]puttock[or]pumpion[or]ratsbane[or]scut[or]skainsmate[or]strumpet[or]varlot[or]vassal[or]wagtail[or]whey-face[at random]!’.” [/code][/rant]